Japan PM Gifts Life-Size Bukkake Tapestry To Italian Prime Minister

 --Japan Today--

The Japanese Prime Minister has today astonished his Italian counterpart by gifting her with a life-size hand-woven tapestry depicting a full reenactment of Japan's legendary 2017 Annual Parliamentary Bukkake Summit.

"We feel this artwork accurately represents the present day spirit of the Japanese samurai" said the Japanese Prime Minister. 

"The subjugation and violence towards women reflects the innately cruel nature of all we Japanese Men. This has been artistically rendered into a fantasists sphere of influence where we can give head to our wildest most uninhibited fantasies involving sperm, mother, savage beatings, semen, headlocks and, of course, gallons and gallons and gallons of bukkake man-spooge."

"That's me in the back and to the left a bit. I gave myself a roofie and let the good times flow."

"My shit's on fire. Like Richard Pryor. Straight got the monkey dick."

The Italian Prime Minister has made herself unavailable for comment and will accept no further questions from any member of the Japanese delegation.

Japan and South Korea To Hold Inaugural Bukkake Power Summit.

--Seoul Times--

Japan and South Korea have briefly put their political differences aside in order for their respective powerbrokers to attend The Inaugural Bilateral Summer Bukkake Power Summit this summer in Seoul, South Korea.

"Of course we'll have more than 1 woman there. You stupid fucken cock-eyed cunts."

"This is going to be biblical" proclaimed Manabu Sato, Japan's sitting Minister for MILF Squirting & Night Soil. "I can hardly wait to manipulate my rock-hard 3 mm stiffy to issue all over the leg and head of some K-Pop starlet. Or, failing that, all over Korea's Minister for Comfort Women. Oops, yeah, so sorry about the war brothels bish oh shiiiiiiit I'm comingggg"

The 3 days of heated and fluid collective caucus cock summit action are scheduled to take place in August.

"I'm willing to put aside my hatred for the Japs for 3 days in order to initiate punishing international relations with any j-bitch in the room" said Mr Dong Sook, South Korea's Minister For Crying About The War.

"Multiple stiffies are a go, I repeat multiple stiffies are a red hot go, Virgil."
--Japan's International Rescue Bukkake Command Control Centre running one of their daily "stiffy simulations" before the big event.

 GG Allin Cancelled 862 Times In 4-Minute Span.

--Stanford Gazette--

Legendary punk rocker Mr GG Allin, long believed to have died, made somewhat of a surprise appearance at the Stanford University campus to kick off his nationwide campus tour entitled "Cancel My Crippled Cock You Fucking Sissy Cunt Faggetz".



However, the legendary punk rockers nationwide campus tour was cut short after just 4 minutes when he was cancelled no less than 862 times within the space of just 4 minutes on stage, shattering the national record previously held by Louis CK who registered a mere 12 cancellations.

A selection of the songs Mr Allin managed to play in the 4 minutes before he was taken into cancellation custody are as follows:

"Eat my fukk u shart booger cuntwraps." (0.30)

"Gay snot anal AIDS superhighway this, woke cunts". (0.19)

"Belsen up my ballsack u gestapo faggettz". (0.22)

"Jack off my Zyklon HIV fuel rod all u lez slut cum silos". (0.28)

"WokeFuck Hookerz4Life VS WokeFuck Ho's4Deth". (0.12)

"Crippled Cock Open Casket Blues (my 1st ever ballad)". (0.17)

"Leper Nazi Cock My HIV Radiation Ballmeat U Fukkz". (0.24)

"The Ball Gag Donkey Punch Blues (my 2nd ever ballad)". (0.31)

"Safe Space My Gestapo Cock and Balls U Hippie Faggett Cuntz". (0.14)

Stanford University student body representative and Feminist Studies major Madison Vaggarden was less than impressed.


"The entire assembled student faculty were in tears".
--Madison Vaggarden.

"Some students were visibly shaking and none of them will ever, ever recover from this extremely distressing afternoon" continued the distraught Ms Vaggarden. "I literally cannot believe that given the hostile reception Mr Allin received in those 4 minutes inside our cocooned campus safe space, he thought it would be a good idea to come out and perform an encore entitled "Anal Cunt My Tranny HIV Love Piston". I literally cannot believe there is a song in existence with such a highly, highly offensive title. My world is in pieces. I need to go back to my dorm room immediately and play my Enya CD and have a soy kale spinach latte to calm myself down".

Japanese Prince Gifts Tree To Son

--Japan Times--

Prince Akishino of Japan has today gifted a random tree in a local park to his son. "To you boy, I gift this tree" said the Prince. "It has special emotional significance for me. Because when your mother and I were 4 years old we were once hiding up that tree together. And it sticks in my mind that it was the first time that she ever put her fist right up my fucken clacka. When we were sitting up in that tree together."

"I lost my anal virginity up that very same tree".

--The Prince

"Bear in mind though, boy... upskirt photography is hopeless when you are sitting up in this tree. The angles are all wrong."

"Fun fact, kids; I actually edited the Latin name for this tree species on wikipedia to 'Annus Clackoralis Fistibum'".

Richie McCaw's Web Blog

 Richie McCaw's Web Blog

Hi fellas.

Richie here.

I've retired from rugby now and these days consider myself a serious photographer with a potential disposition towards Art.

Feel free to take notes from this, my photographic & informational blog, in order to improve the quality of your own photographical work.

I used an exposure
of 0.0308662 and an
aperture of 6.2881
for this shot.

The brown material in the
foreground represents "earth".

There are 3 elements in this
photograph: light, colour and
jungle.

The vivid splash of orange is
the centrepiece of this work.

The motor vehicles represent
the Progress of Man lost in a
non-urban setting.

Surprisingly, this shot is actually
symbolic of the female vagina.

I waited 3 days for the sky
to adopt this hue.
Time and money well spent.

Post-modern deconstructionism.

Any bear could just walk to the end of that silly fence and then walk around the end of it.

No idea here.

Could be a bear trap with the ladder there for when the bears want to do sunbathing, get them on the roof up there and then BAM!

I wanted to take a close-up photo of the tree in the distance but couldn't be bothered walking any closer.

I used a ruler and a marker pen to draw that black frame by myself.

That DICK wandered into the frame and RUINED the balance of the picture.

FUCK HIM.

I think this might be where the Navy Seals finally found
Asama bin Laden? Somewhere near Christchurch anyway.

Could well be the remains of bin Laden's old underground tunnel network?

No tunnels above ground.
(Tunnels are generally underground structures).