Japan PM Gifts Life-Size Bukkake Tapestry To Italian Prime Minister

 --Japan Today--

The Japanese Prime Minister has today astonished his Italian counterpart by gifting her with a life-size hand-woven tapestry depicting a full reenactment of Japan's legendary 2017 Annual Parliamentary Bukkake Summit.

"We feel this artwork accurately represents the present day spirit of the Japanese samurai" said the Japanese Prime Minister. 

"The subjugation and violence towards women reflects the innately cruel nature of all we Japanese Men. This has been artistically rendered into a fantasists sphere of influence where we can give head to our wildest most uninhibited fantasies involving sperm, mother, savage beatings, semen, headlocks and, of course, gallons and gallons and gallons of bukkake man-spooge."

"That's me in the back and to the left a bit. I gave myself a roofie and let the good times flow."

"My shit's on fire. Like Richard Pryor. Straight got the monkey dick."

The Italian Prime Minister has made herself unavailable for comment and will accept no further questions from any member of the Japanese delegation.

Japan and South Korea To Hold Inaugural Bukkake Power Summit.

--Seoul Times--

Japan and South Korea have briefly put their political differences aside in order for their respective powerbrokers to attend The Inaugural Bilateral Summer Bukkake Power Summit this summer in Seoul, South Korea.

"Of course we'll have more than 1 woman there. You stupid fucken cock-eyed cunts."

"This is going to be biblical" proclaimed Manabu Sato, Japan's sitting Minister for MILF Squirting & Night Soil. "I can hardly wait to manipulate my rock-hard 3 mm stiffy to issue all over the leg and head of some K-Pop starlet. Or, failing that, all over Korea's Minister for Comfort Women. Oops, yeah, so sorry about the war brothels bish oh shiiiiiiit I'm comingggg"

The 3 days of heated and fluid collective caucus cock summit action are scheduled to take place in August.

"I'm willing to put aside my hatred for the Japs for 3 days in order to initiate punishing international relations with any j-bitch in the room" said Mr Dong Sook, South Korea's Minister For Crying About The War.

"Multiple stiffies are a go, I repeat multiple stiffies are a red hot go, Virgil."
--Japan's International Rescue Bukkake Command Control Centre running one of their daily "stiffy simulations" before the big event.

 GG Allin Cancelled 862 Times In 4-Minute Span.

--Stanford Gazette--

Legendary punk rocker Mr GG Allin, long believed to have died, made somewhat of a surprise appearance at the Stanford University campus to kick off his nationwide campus tour entitled "Cancel My Crippled Cock You Fucking Sissy Cunt Faggetz".



However, the legendary punk rockers nationwide campus tour was cut short after just 4 minutes when he was cancelled no less than 862 times within the space of just 4 minutes on stage, shattering the national record previously held by Louis CK who registered a mere 12 cancellations.

A selection of the songs Mr Allin managed to play in the 4 minutes before he was taken into cancellation custody are as follows:

"Eat my fukk u shart booger cuntwraps." (0.30)

"Gay snot anal AIDS superhighway this, woke cunts". (0.19)

"Belsen up my ballsack u gestapo faggettz". (0.22)

"Jack off my Zyklon HIV fuel rod all u lez slut cum silos". (0.28)

"WokeFuck Hookerz4Life VS WokeFuck Ho's4Deth". (0.12)

"Crippled Cock Open Casket Blues (my 1st ever ballad)". (0.17)

"Leper Nazi Cock My HIV Radiation Ballmeat U Fukkz". (0.24)

"The Ball Gag Donkey Punch Blues (my 2nd ever ballad)". (0.31)

"Safe Space My Gestapo Cock and Balls U Hippie Faggett Cuntz". (0.14)

Stanford University student body representative and Feminist Studies major Madison Vaggarden was less than impressed.


"The entire assembled student faculty were in tears".
--Madison Vaggarden.

"Some students were visibly shaking and none of them will ever, ever recover from this extremely distressing afternoon" continued the distraught Ms Vaggarden. "I literally cannot believe that given the hostile reception Mr Allin received in those 4 minutes inside our cocooned campus safe space, he thought it would be a good idea to come out and perform an encore entitled "Anal Cunt My Tranny HIV Love Piston". I literally cannot believe there is a song in existence with such a highly, highly offensive title. My world is in pieces. I need to go back to my dorm room immediately and play my Enya CD and have a soy kale spinach latte to calm myself down".

Failed Japanese Prime Ministerial Candidate "Surprised" At Loss.

--Japan Today--

Failed Japanese Prime Ministerial candidate Mr Kono is said to be "surprised" at not securing victory in the recent national election. "I really thought we did everything right," said a fairly despondent Kono. "I felt our billboard messaging was right on point. Forthright yet fun. Just like my campaign staff advised me to be".







"My campaign staff warned me not to come across as a doddery old fuddy duddy"continued Kono "and I think the billboard campaign avoided that".

"A modern, stylish man's man' is what the constituents want, the campaign staff told me. Personally, I think we nailed it".

"I really thought the campaign was a reflection of my true personality, as you can see from this shot of the decor inside my family home":

Inside Mr Kono's house:

"My home is quite artistically appointed" went on Kono "and I really wanted that side of my character to come through in my campaign".

"At home I like to rule with an iron fist" continued Kono "and I really wanted this aspect of my personality to come through in my campaign posters".




Mr Kono's campaign staff were unavailable for comment.

Japan 2021 Parliamentary Bukkake Fest Underway

--Japan Times--

"Yes, it's that time of the year again" said a visibly-excited Prime Minister Kishida. "Time to repair to the chamber and form an orderly queue in readiness to dump gallons and gallons of smeggy hot spunk all over some slutty fucking MILF members chest and face and neck. God, I love Japanese culture".

"Fuck Covid, fuck masks, it's time to get busy with bitcoin and bonds I mean bitches and boners".

"The more experienced Bukkake Fest lads have realised they should leave their best suit pants at home and just turn up wearing more semen-hued strides" said Kishida. "The semen, blood, puke, smeg, phlegm and salty tear stains never really wash out anyway".

"We've even got some sort of a bobcut transgender in attendance this year (centre of photo) so that'll be something new for the lads. See what sort of gash/tackle ensemble is loitering down there and how many cc's of man-spooge she can cop up the shitter before he cries 'pronoun!' which incidentally is this years safe word".

Japanese Prime Minister To Be Deported.

--Japan Today--

Japan is reeling at the news that their Prime Minister is to be deported. This shock announcement follows a projection of low quarterly growth for the all-important pornographical niche sector of Tentacle Rape.



A Japanese Independent Commission of Grot Inquiry reported that the 0.3% growth projection on Tentacle Rape was the final nail in Prime Minister Suga's coffin. "I'm sorry but 0.3% growth is utterly, utterly unacceptable. The world looks to Japan to see deep sea creatures get busy with half-naked hotties and 0.3% growth in this all-important grot niche sector is just totally unacceptable. Suga has brought great, great shame upon the nation of Japan. We've unanimously agreed to recommend immediately deporting the useless prick to Bikini Atoll. Let him try and have an octopii-themed tug on his 0.3 millimetre todger down there. Fucking slack cunt. Good riddance, clearly he didn't have the best interests of the Japanese people at heart. Fucking arsehole".

Taliban Looking To Fill Ministerial Portfolios.

--Kabul Times--

The Taliban are reportedly on the verge of filling their ministerial government portfolios with the exact same murderous members from their notorious 1996-2001 regime.

"Look, I'll admit, last time around some of the lads did get a bit carried away with it all" said Taliban Leader Achmed. "But they have all given me personal assurances that they'll be on much, much better behaviour this time around".

"Ahkbar to my left here has promised me he won't eat any babies this time".

"But chief, they're so delic...

"AHKBAR! We've spoken about this!"

"Okay, okay, no babies..."

The following are the Taliban ministerial portfolios that are as of yet unfilled:

Minister of Death.
Minister of Murder.
Minister of Killing.
Minister of Laughing At America.
Minister of Homicide.
Minister of Guns.
Minister of Bashing Up Old Ladies.
Minister of Rape.
Minister of Punching Babies.
Minister of Kicking Women Right In The Face.
Minister of Prayer.
Minister of Public Stonings.
Minister of Guillotinery.
Minister of Throwing Acid In Women's Faces.
Minister of Public Executions.
Minister of Skullfucking Handicapped People In The Brains.
Minister of Casual Limb Dismemberment.
Minister of Homosexual Bonfires.
Minister of Flying Planes Around With No Intention Of Ever Landing Them.
Minister of Eating Babies: Ahkbar.

US Envoy Brought In Over International Incident.

--Japan Times--

The US Envoy John Kerry has been brought in to resolve an international incident involving Japan's Prime Minister Suga and a visiting US Admiral.

The US Admiral and Prime Minister Suga, yesterday.

"We got us a diplomatic incident here, little buddy" Kerry reportedly murmured. "That US Admiral has been standing at attention for 7 hours now. The war's over, Suga. What the hell, dude? What is with the ongoing cruel and inhumane treatment against our servicemen?"

Kerry and Suga, seen here clearly gesticulating over the incident.

"I must profer my deepest apologies" replied the Japanese PM. "I tried and tried and tried to usher the dignitary to his seat numerous, numerous times. To no avail. We even had the translator explain it to him in quite clear English. Again, to no avail. It would appear the individual in question is alingual. He seems unable to respond to any verbal command. We even called the Sony Hologram Unit in to confirm is he is actually human and yes, it seems he is. We tried picture cards of chairs. We tried smiling generously and patting the chair cushion in an inviting, welcoming manner. We tried everything. Please, Mr Kerry, please. I am begging you. Please take him away."

Japan Ministry Of Film Arts Commandeers Tokyo 2020 Olympic Infrastructure.

--Japan Today--

Japan's Ministry of Arts have today commandeered the entire Tokyo 2020 Olympic infrastructure including all computer mainframes.

"We commandeer all Tokyo 2020 Olympic communication tools to keep up with glut of Japan grot films. We need to keep up to speed with all Japan grot releases. Japan produce up to 620,000 grot films a day. We need to review each and every grot film for our, uh, our Ministry of Arts archival records. It is Japanese culture. You wouldn't understand omeeeh".

"Monitor 84, do you copy?"

"Copy Monitor 12, Bukkake Sausage Fuckfest #666 is a go, I repeat Bukkake Sausage Fuckfest #666 is a red hot fucken go".

"We work through the night. We work on grot at night. We are diligent worker. We put in the hard hours. Rock hard hours. So hard right now cunt."

"Some of these boners are looking a bit droopy, I repeat, boner droopage on Monitors 36 and.....oh, hang about..... we've switched to ceiling monitors. Nevermind what I just said, as you were."

Japan And USA Experience Cultural Impasse.

--Japan Today--

Today, a US Admiral visiting Japan spent an excruciating 84 minutes standing on stage with the Japanese Prime Minister as the asian nation's leader struggled through the language barrier, repeatedly trying to persuade the American Admiral to please, please, please have a seat.

"...look... just... sit... THERE, would you. For fucks sake. THERE".

"I thought he was trying to shake hands with me for the first 30 minutes" said the US Admiral. "Then I thought he might be asking me to take a seat but couldn't be 100% sure so I just stood there, not wanting to cause offense to my host. Then, for about 20 minutes I thought he was trying to usher me off the stage but, again, I couldn't be sure so I just stood there for a bit longer, awaiting further instructions".

"Would you PLEASE just sit the f*** DOWN, please, you thick seppo f***ing cunt".

Local Woman Attempts To Hypnotise G7 World Leaders

--Times--

A deranged local woman has today reportedly attempted to use black magic to hypnotise G7 world leaders into liking her father.

"Donnie is number onnnnnnnnnneeeeeeee..."

The woman had diplomatic credentials to gain access to the meeting but was pointedly ignored by everyone in attandance.

"She's still standing right next to me isn't she..."

Eventually the woman left of her own accord and was last sighted talking to people at a bus stop outside the G7 convention centre. These people also appeared to be completely ignoring her.

"I see... I see a bus in my future..."

Nanking Chinatown Fake News Anniversary

--Dec 14, 2020.--

--by Special War Apology Correspondent Masahiro Sato



Hello. Today it is  Special War Apology Correspondent Masahiro Sato special report.

Today, misguided Chinaman assemble in new Tiananmen Square for fake news anniversary of 83rd anniversary of the Rape of Nanking Massacre which never happen.

Japan statistic indicate 200,000 chinamen not raped and murdered in 6 week period.

Japan statistic indicate just 4 chinamen tripped and fell on loose Tiananmen Square cobblestone and sadly die when they bump their little dog head on cobblestone. R.I.P to four chinamens. I fell your loss.

spraguedawleyii.blogspot.com/2020/08/japan-and-china-still-dispute-rape-of.html

Go home, cosplay chinaman. No Nanking Massacre. Fake news, omeeh.

Japan statistic indicate in 1937 peaceful Japan envoys arrive in Nanking to teach barbaric local dogpeople how to make rice and pottery and how to read civilise Japanese kanji. Then 4 clumsy chinamen cobblestone fall-down debacle then China comfort woman swoon at visiting Japan stud men in uniform and give into estrus desire then post-coital tobacco and Japan envoy all repair to inn for bathtime and teatime and futon goodnight teddy end of story.


Chinatown flag at half mast but Japan cock forever at full mast in Nanking. Fuck yeah baby.






China Nanking labcoat doctor release the corona bats to attack Japan again. Fuck you China. Nanking Massacre was Fake News don't make me come down there again u cross-eyed little wankers.

Justice Aunt Lydia sworn in as US Supreme Court Justice.

"Who fucken farted? WHO?
--Justice Aunt Lydia.

Justice Aunt Lydia has today been sworn in as a US Supreme Court Justice at the White House.

Her acceptance speech read as follows;

"I solemnly swear to show all bitches, hos and skanks the way to vag salvation. The vag is blessed and the cock is holy. This is enshrined in our Gilead constitution. Therefore, let my first act as Supreme Court Justice be to welcome a rando gaggle of preggers handmaids to the White House as I, and I alone, bless their rapespawn loinfruit as we forge ahead to the holiest of holy days, yes, vagsplosion spout day. Blessed be the Gash, Holy be the Fuck. Thank you, my children, thank you."

Upon her confirmation, Justice Aunt Lydia immediately repaired to the White House catacombs to begin checking the pregger bumps of the motley gaggle of sluts, hos, charlatans, skanks and women of questionable matrimonial feasance.


"What the fuck bish. You're not even pregnant you stupid slag. You're just constipated. Are you sure you weren't just boofed up the shitter?"

Nikon Japan "Coming Close" To First-Ever First Lady Upskirt Panty Shot

--Japan Times--

Japanese Nikon technicians are currently working long into the night to "reverse engineer" reflections from a shovel wielded by Melania Trump in the hopes of yielding a groundbreaking first-ever First Lady upskirt panty shot.



"We are so close" said lead technician Dr H.Entai. "There are however certain angles that are proving uncooperative due to the unbending laws of physics related to space and time. We have already tried numerous relays to our space station in the hopes of refracting the light of time itself but so far no luck. The boys are ploughing on though and are all quietly rock-hard at the prospect of some sweet, sweet First Lady grud shots. Even just some upper thigh shots would see the dark room go off like the NASA control room in 1969".

An artists simulation of the Nikon Camera Division once the lads obtain the elusive first-ever First Lady panty shot:

Japan demands A-Bomb apology from President Trump

 –TOKYO–

Japan has urged President Trump to apologize for the U.S. atomic bombings when he visits Japan next. The Commander-In-Chief visited Japan just recently but declined to issue a formal written apology for a-bombing Japan’s nutsacks back to the motherfucking Stone Age a few years back.

Community Sponsor: Have Your Say!

http://www.japan-war-apology.proboards.com/

“FUCK YOUUU GAIJIN TRUMP,
WHERE IS MY WAR SORRY?”
–local MP Mr Kamei.

“Japan Army, I mean, Japan Friendly Aid Unit, was working their way through Asia in 1940’s, spreading good cheer and food parcel” said Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, “when suddenly, in 1945, news comes through from back home that violent war criminal americans have dropped murderous and potentially lethal atomic bombs all over our mum’s dogs nuts. What the fuck, USA? Cock is meat murder all over our groin gristle.”

“Which one of you big-nosed gaijin freak war criminal terrorist cocksuckers is the Trump? ANSWER ME.”

“There we were, 1945, minding our own business” continued Abe, “having a good old sing-a-long in Burma, Japanese tea brewing on campfire, live chinaman roasting over an open fire, when hello, we get news from home that ballsacks have gone nuclear, testi’s are radiation glowing all over the town, dicks are on fire, and bumcracks are melting all up and down the main drag. What the fuck, USA? Give peace a chance!”

…therefore, here in makeshift Japanese Hague, I today pronounce that you are all GUILTY of war crime against Japanese Imperial Army I mean Japanese Imperial Aid Unit.”

“Just working our way through Manchuria” continued Abe, “giving aid to needy dogbreed ching-chong citizens, handing out free chopsticks to those smelly cross-eyed rickshaw motherfuckers, instructing them on the finer points of Japanese bukkake queue etiquette, when, what the fuck USA, a blinding light in the sky and suddenly Code Red, mum’s cock has gone thermonuclear. What the fuck, America? If you want complimentary chopsticks, just ask for the fucken things!”

“We stop by with free complimentary chopsticks for friendly Pearl Harbour barbeque in 1940’s and you repay us 4 years later with nuclear detonation? What the fuck, America? SAY SORRY 4 WARRR.”

“My Grandfather Kishi and Uncle Tojo were having a peaceful game of mahjong in parlour” continued Abe, “when suddenly bright nuclear burst and grandfather and uncle are both whisked off to War Tribunal Committee and strung up by their nuts before sundown. For what, America? For what! Are you implying Uncle Tojo cheated at mahjong? He was man of honour! Trump USA must apologize not only for A-Bomb murders but also apologize for impeaching honour of Uncle Tojo as serious mahjong competitor.”

“Drinks and refreshments will be served in the foyer afterwards. Thank you.”

Japanese Prime Minister Spends Entire Day Searching For Bridge High Enough To Jump Off.

 –Japan Today–

Reports have filtered through that Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe spent all day yesterday searching for a bridge high enough to jump off. “A bridge high enough that would ensure a quick and certain death if I were to jump from it.”

“This safety-first surgical health mask will ensure I don’t catch the ching-chong virus just before I die.”

“I departed my Imperial Residence (in background) in search of a high enough bridge from which to throw myself off to guarantee a quick death. However, unfortunately, all my local bridges are too low to promise a certain death. The bridges in my neighbourhood are Japanese therefore they are artistic and well-constructed but they are all regrettably low” continued Prime Minister Abe “However, I did not give up. I displayed the Japanese spirit of my forefathers and continued my search long into the night for a high enough bridge from which to leap to my death. Sadly, I have yet to find a suitable bridge.”

“Fucking stupid dwarf bridges.”

New York Police Dept Arrest Manual

 

Crime: Jaywalking

Recommended Responses:

White Suspect: High five suspect and defuse situation. “Haha, wonky walking, you drunk dude. How bout’ dem Knicks?”

Black Suspect: Suplex nigger until he is face-down on the pavement. Plant drugs on him and immediately call for SWAT backup. “Fuck you nigger and fuck your Knicks”.




Crime: Jewellery heist in progress

Recommended Responses:

White Suspect: “Heyyy, that’s a pretty nice brooch you scored there, fella. Oh yeah, bodycam’s off. Have a nice day. Go Knicks!”

Black Suspect: Call NSA hotline and black-ops drone strike that niggers nuts halfway back to motherfucking Swaziland.











Crime: Peaceful Protest

Recommended Responses:

White Suspect: Take a knee with protestor. “Black Lives Matter”.

Black Suspect: Rubber bullet that screaming nigger motherfucker right in the fucking skull then mace his mandingo cock and balls till his junk has gone liquid nitrogen frozen like in the Terminator film then crack that shit off and shove the whole lot right up his crying mama’s big ol black ass. 




Crime: Mass shooting at cinema

Recommended Responses:

White Suspect: “Nice gun. Was this one in the new Rambo film? Pretty cool. Try to keep the safety on next time, Sir.” 

Black Suspect: B-52 bombing raid on nearest black neighbourhood and don’t stop bombing til that roach-infested shithole is a goddamn motherfucking rock lobster stone age Wakanda.







Crime: Speeding

Recommended Responses:

White Suspect: “Haha, take it easy there, tiger. Hey, this is a pretty nice Prius. What sort of mileage you getting on this thing?”

Black Suspect: “This white bronco looks stolen. Nigger, step out of the car.” “Officer, it’s a Prius.” “DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK, NIGGER?”

Detain smart-mouthed nigger face-down on the ground. Immediately call for SWAT backup. While waiting for backup, strangle the nigger to death anyway, just to get an erection.






Crime: Small Child Jaywalking

Recommended Responses:

White Suspect: “Hello, small child. Officer Friendly here. Would you care for a lollipop?”

Black Suspect: Shoot suspect 47 times in the face, hack up the tiny corpse and then send all the body parts back to Africa piece by piece. Cock first.

Trump To Save American Economy With “New Source of Protein”

 

President Trump has announced today that he “has personally discovered a new source of protein.”

“What am I even paying these science guys for?” proclaimed the Commander-in-Chief. “I was looking at a picture of the Corona virus and this little thing has at least 3 different types of protein. S protein, M protein and something else. And protein is healthy right? Those weightlifting guys eat it and they’re healthy. So, to get America healthy again we’ll just eat the virus. Because it’s made of protein. Kill the virus by eating it and getting healthy at the same time! What a great idea! Killing two birds with one stone. What have my science guys been doing this whole time? We could even make the virus into protein bars for the weightlifting guys. So anyway, today I passed an Executive Order that all food banks nationwide must now be stocked with Corona virus samples. For eating. After all, it is high in protein. According to my picture of the virus this little ball guy has at least 3 different proteins in there. That’s a balanced meal.

“Maybe if you’re dining out in a restaurant they could serve the little protein guys on a nice little dish, like a petris dish or something, I don’t know. It’s a huge opportunity for restaurants too, to help them get back on their feet financially. A healthy protein-packed addition to the menu. The virus is quite a cute colour too from the pictures I’ve seen, it will look quite artistic on the plate or petris dish. I don’t know how it tastes but you could put some ketchup on it or something. You could make some real money from this thing. I’ve heard that loads of Americans have the virus, maybe they could donate a portion of the virus from inside their body to restaurants? For the cause. Maybe restaurants could take down all that plastic partitioning and instead have a special coughing virus protein donation area?

“And best of all, this new food source, loaded with protein, would even be free to start with. Sure, we’d sell off the licensing and patents down the road but to start with it would be free. Imagine that, free food! It will definitely save the American economy. We could export it to the rest of the world later too. Huge export potential. Huge. A real game changer. This will make America great again.”

Japan Abandons Plan To Scale Down Porn Production

 –Japan Times–

Japan’s proposed scaling-down of daily nationwide porn film production by 0.000000023% due to Corona Virus fears has been met with a hail of irate scorn by parlimentarians.

“…for the safety of the actresses we need to propose a scaling down of daily film production by 0.000000023%…”
“WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK DUDE. IT’S NOT GOING TO WHACK ITSELF OVER HERE YOU KNOW.”
“GIVE ME THAT MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF PAPER YOU AMISH FAGGOT.”
“Order! Order!”
“Order your mouth full of my cock you nazi faggot.”
“I CAN’T BREATHE, I CAN’T BREATHE, SOMEONE PLEASE VENTILATE MY COCK.”

Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has called for the immediate execution of the Minister who made the proposal. “In a town square, in a 7-11, in a stairwell, corpse biffed in the creek, I don’t give a shit. End him. What this deranged individual is proposing is profoundly un-Japanese. The trains run on time, the commuters cram aboard, some of them cough viral death on each other and then the survivors all go home and whack it. Is that too hard to understand? As Winston Churchill once said, ‘first they come for your granny tranny mags, then it’s the octopii incest vids.’ Or something like that. Anyway, whether it’s a mummy/daughter bukkake gangbang or an outdoors MILF spitroast donkey-felch pastoral picnic scene, our daily new fix of fresh meat vids here in Japan is the societal stress valve lubricant that keeps the entire charade of our straight-jacketed society from crumbling at our goddamned feet. The arabs have oil, we have bukkake. That’s how this shit works. How hard is that to understand? No more questions, shithead. Would you take the arabs oil away just cos some fucker in Dubai coughed up an iron lung on the morning train? You’re not even making any sense now, no more questions you fucking anti-cock lunatic. Execute that prudish amish fuck of a Minister and biff his head in with the ice creams in the frozen food section of a fucking 7-11. Then make a new grot vid out of it, form an orderly bukkake queue, roll cameras, jizz everywhere, oh fuck yeah”.