Justice Aunt Lydia sworn in as US Supreme Court Justice.

"Who fucken farted? WHO?
--Justice Aunt Lydia.

Justice Aunt Lydia has today been sworn in as a US Supreme Court Justice at the White House.

Her acceptance speech read as follows;

"I solemnly swear to show all bitches, hos and skanks the way to vag salvation. The vag is blessed and the cock is holy. This is enshrined in our Gilead constitution. Therefore, let my first act as Supreme Court Justice be to welcome a rando gaggle of preggers handmaids to the White House as I, and I alone, bless their rapespawn loinfruit as we forge ahead to the holiest of holy days, yes, vagsplosion spout day. Blessed be the Gash, Holy be the Fuck. Thank you, my children, thank you."

Upon her confirmation, Justice Aunt Lydia immediately repaired to the White House catacombs to begin checking the pregger bumps of the motley gaggle of sluts, hos, charlatans, skanks and women of questionable matrimonial feasance.


"What the fuck bish. You're not even pregnant you stupid slag. You're just constipated. Are you sure you weren't just boofed up the shitter?"

Nikon Japan "Coming Close" To First-Ever First Lady Upskirt Panty Shot

--Japan Times--

Japanese Nikon technicians are currently working long into the night to "reverse engineer" reflections from a shovel wielded by Melania Trump in the hopes of yielding a groundbreaking first-ever First Lady upskirt panty shot.



"We are so close" said lead technician Dr H.Entai. "There are however certain angles that are proving uncooperative due to the unbending laws of physics related to space and time. We have already tried numerous relays to our space station in the hopes of refracting the light of time itself but so far no luck. The boys are ploughing on though and are all quietly rock-hard at the prospect of some sweet, sweet First Lady grud shots. Even just some upper thigh shots would see the dark room go off like the NASA control room in 1969".

An artists simulation of the Nikon Camera Division once the lads obtain the elusive first-ever First Lady panty shot: