FBI Top Ten Most Wanted List
10. Ost Botha
Aliases: Ost, The Boet Butcher.
Wanted for:
- unlicensed plastic surgery
- aboard a boat
- at high speed
- all of the above at the same time
ostsplasticsurgery.wixsite.com/seacruise
9. Roger Gavaskar
Aliases: Rog.
Wanted for:
- asymmetrical moustachery
- arguing with Javed
- once calling Javed a "marijuana addict"
- ignoring Kampahla's 2-goat dowry offer
- going a bit heavy on the loquat sherry that one time spraguedawleyii.blogspot.com/search/label/Roger%20Gavaskar
8. Masahiro Sato
Aliases: Sato-san.
Wanted for:
- not adequately apologising for The War: japan-war-apology.proboards.com/
7. Anton
Aliases: "Anton".
Wanted for:
- bludgeoning to death numerous endangered species
- while the animals were still alive
- executed right in front of paying restaurant customers
- right at their tables
- a budgie for fucks sake
- an exploded parakeet on a stick
- lightly seasoned with paprika.
- sounds quite good actually
- when you put it like that
antonsrestaurant.wixsite.com/animals
6. Raelene Gunston
Aliases: Raels, Wayne's Sheila, Wayne's root, Mrs Wayne, that bitch.
Wanted for:
- excessive rooting with Wayne Gunston in the Redfern RSL blokes bogs
- overseeing imprisonment of numerous lawyer wankers: gunstonlegal.wixsite.com/legal
5. Gene Gunston
Aliases: Gene-o, Genus, The Genester, Shithead.
Wanted for:
- being a drongo
- being no oil painting
- being thick as a plank
- losing corpses
4. Judge Gordon "Gangbang" Gunston
Aliases: The Judge, Gordo, The Gordster, "Gangbang" Gordo.
Wanted for:
- looking too stern
- why does he look so angry all the time?
- there's really no way to tell when he's actually angry is there?
- not really, no.
- greying in such a distinguished manner
- being overly authoritative on the subject of women; spraguedawleyii.blogspot.com/2020/08/the-japanese-woman-part-i-and-ii.html
- killing too many wives; spraguedawleyii.blogspot.com/2020/08/gordon-gunstons-guide-to-happy-marriage.html
3. Wayne Gunston
Aliases: Wayne-o, Wankerface Wayne, Wankerface Wayne-o.
Wanted for:
- corrosive handsomeness
- just being too damn good-looking
- having an overly-suave manner with the ladies
- nicking 7 cubic tonnes of sky-blue urinal cakes from the Redfern RSL bogs over a 20-year period
- repackaging the stolen urinal cakes as sweets and shipping them to Africa via gunstonshipping.wixsite.com/ship
2. Trevor Gunston
Aliases: Trevor.
Wanted for:
- driving like a fucken lunatic
- that fucking ute
- if I ever see that fucking ute again...
- no way that nutjob has a fucken driver's license
- chainsawing to death innumerable tourist wankers up the Kaimai's. trevschainsawsafar.wixsite.com/safarinotsafarcunt
1. Aunty Doris Gunston
Aliases: Dorr-o, Aunty Dorr-o, The Evangelion of Death, The Sconemaker, The Sheikbaker.
Wanted for:
- excessive sherry intake
- throwing scones at visiting dignitaries
- hard scones
- some of them rock-hard
- rubber-stamping the dumping of an unspecified number of corpses down at the quarry gunstonundertakers.wixsite.com/death
