Japan and South Korea To Hold Inaugural Bukkake Power Summit.

--Seoul Times--

Japan and South Korea have briefly put their political differences aside in order for their respective powerbrokers to attend The Inaugural Bilateral Summer Bukkake Power Summit this summer in Seoul, South Korea.

"Of course we'll have more than 1 woman there. You stupid fucken cock-eyed cunts."

"This is going to be biblical" proclaimed Manabu Sato, Japan's sitting Minister for MILF Squirting & Night Soil. "I can hardly wait to manipulate my rock-hard 3 mm stiffy to issue all over the leg and head of some K-Pop starlet. Or, failing that, all over Korea's Minister for Comfort Women. Oops, yeah, so sorry about the war brothels bish oh shiiiiiiit I'm comingggg"

The 3 days of heated and fluid collective caucus cock summit action are scheduled to take place in August.

"I'm willing to put aside my hatred for the Japs for 3 days in order to initiate punishing international relations with any j-bitch in the room" said Mr Dong Sook, South Korea's Minister For Crying About The War.

"Multiple stiffies are a go, I repeat multiple stiffies are a red hot go, Virgil."
--Japan's International Rescue Bukkake Command Control Centre running one of their daily "stiffy simulations" before the big event.

Japan 2021 Parliamentary Bukkake Fest Underway

--Japan Times--

"Yes, it's that time of the year again" said a visibly-excited Prime Minister Kishida. "Time to repair to the chamber and form an orderly queue in readiness to dump gallons and gallons of smeggy hot spunk all over some slutty fucking MILF members chest and face and neck. God, I love Japanese culture".

"Fuck Covid, fuck masks, it's time to get busy with bitcoin and bonds I mean bitches and boners".

"The more experienced Bukkake Fest lads have realised they should leave their best suit pants at home and just turn up wearing more semen-hued strides" said Kishida. "The semen, blood, puke, smeg, phlegm and salty tear stains never really wash out anyway".

"We've even got some sort of a bobcut transgender in attendance this year (centre of photo) so that'll be something new for the lads. See what sort of gash/tackle ensemble is loitering down there and how many cc's of man-spooge she can cop up the shitter before he cries 'pronoun!' which incidentally is this years safe word".

Japanese Prime Minister To Be Deported.

--Japan Today--

Japan is reeling at the news that their Prime Minister is to be deported. This shock announcement follows a projection of low quarterly growth for the all-important pornographical niche sector of Tentacle Rape.



A Japanese Independent Commission of Grot Inquiry reported that the 0.3% growth projection on Tentacle Rape was the final nail in Prime Minister Suga's coffin. "I'm sorry but 0.3% growth is utterly, utterly unacceptable. The world looks to Japan to see deep sea creatures get busy with half-naked hotties and 0.3% growth in this all-important grot niche sector is just totally unacceptable. Suga has brought great, great shame upon the nation of Japan. We've unanimously agreed to recommend immediately deporting the useless prick to Bikini Atoll. Let him try and have an octopii-themed tug on his 0.3 millimetre todger down there. Fucking slack cunt. Good riddance, clearly he didn't have the best interests of the Japanese people at heart. Fucking arsehole".

Japan's Crown Prince Buys His First-Ever Thai Hooker.

--Japan Today--

The Crown Prince of Japan has today purchased his first-ever Thai hooker. 

"I recommend that little tart 3rd from the left, son. That bitch looks like she will gargle your nuts from here to motherfucking Katmandu".

"It's a proud rite of passage in our family" beamed the Crown Prince's father. "I bought my first filthy thai slapper when I was just 13-years old. Then after I fucked her brains out for 17 days straight I got sick of the dumb slag and threw her in our castle's moat. Haha, I'm just kidding with you. I had a footman throw her in the moat."

The Crown Prince, now aged 14, is said to have been "practicing like mad" for the big day of finally getting to bang his first filthy thai slut. "I've been jacking off up to 25 times a day. I can't even fucken see straight most days," confessed the Prince. "I cannot wait to rupture some random thai ho's birth hatch with my massive hairy cock and balls".

"Fuckit boy, let's just buy all of them and I'll plough all the ones you don't want."






"Oh, and one more thing son, whatever you do, don't let the mad slags near the bloody ping pong balls".

Japan Ministry Of Film Arts Commandeers Tokyo 2020 Olympic Infrastructure.

--Japan Today--

Japan's Ministry of Arts have today commandeered the entire Tokyo 2020 Olympic infrastructure including all computer mainframes.

"We commandeer all Tokyo 2020 Olympic communication tools to keep up with glut of Japan grot films. We need to keep up to speed with all Japan grot releases. Japan produce up to 620,000 grot films a day. We need to review each and every grot film for our, uh, our Ministry of Arts archival records. It is Japanese culture. You wouldn't understand omeeeh".

"Monitor 84, do you copy?"

"Copy Monitor 12, Bukkake Sausage Fuckfest #666 is a go, I repeat Bukkake Sausage Fuckfest #666 is a red hot fucken go".

"We work through the night. We work on grot at night. We are diligent worker. We put in the hard hours. Rock hard hours. So hard right now cunt."

"Some of these boners are looking a bit droopy, I repeat, boner droopage on Monitors 36 and.....oh, hang about..... we've switched to ceiling monitors. Nevermind what I just said, as you were."

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Ghislaine Maxwell Awaits Pardon

--USA Today--

Detained socialite Ghislaine Maxwell is reportedly awaiting an official Presidential pardon from outgoing US President Donald J. Trump. It is believed an announcement will be forthcoming any day now.

Ghislaine was raised in a life of privilege at the 51-room Headington Hill Hall near Oxford in England. 

"It was utter, utter squalor" lamented Maxwell. "Only 51 fucking rooms for fucks sake! And half of the rooms were chock full of decomposing teen hookers that Uncle Jeff had fucked to death".

"Uncle Jeffrey, some of these sluts are getting a bit pongy. Can't we just burn their corpses?

When informed of the upcoming Presidential pardon, Maxwell issued the following statement through her solicitors;

"Fire up the Lolita Express u bitches. Stop. And get Gates and Clinton on the blower. Stop. We'll rendezvous at Headers then be back on Pedo Island by sundown! Stop. Gates Head Jobs Revisited, baby! Don't Stop!

"Ghislers, where shall I land the Lolita Express?"

"Fuckit, just taxi along the grass and open a door, I'll jump in, let's do this thing! Back in business baby!"

Nikon Japan "Coming Close" To First-Ever First Lady Upskirt Panty Shot

--Japan Times--

Japanese Nikon technicians are currently working long into the night to "reverse engineer" reflections from a shovel wielded by Melania Trump in the hopes of yielding a groundbreaking first-ever First Lady upskirt panty shot.



"We are so close" said lead technician Dr H.Entai. "There are however certain angles that are proving uncooperative due to the unbending laws of physics related to space and time. We have already tried numerous relays to our space station in the hopes of refracting the light of time itself but so far no luck. The boys are ploughing on though and are all quietly rock-hard at the prospect of some sweet, sweet First Lady grud shots. Even just some upper thigh shots would see the dark room go off like the NASA control room in 1969".

An artists simulation of the Nikon Camera Division once the lads obtain the elusive first-ever First Lady panty shot: