Local Pedo Misunderstands Meaning Of “Pedometer.”

 –Wollongong Gazette–

A local pedo has slightly completely misunderstood the meaning of a “pedometer”.

“I thought it was some fucken device the cops attached to my electricity meter at home to monitor my pedo activity.”
–Local pedo Mr Bruce Saint.

“Turns out it’s actually more like an odometer for my dick” continued the confused pedo. “I can buy one myself and attach it somewhere, like say, all up and down my dick, and set off outdoors and use it to monitor how far I walk. As a pedo this is very handy for me as I make my way from playground to playground. I need to pace myself at times. It can get pretty taxing keeping up with the kids these days. I’m not getting any younger and some of these kids are quite young. It’s not all beer and skittles being the local pedo, you know. It’s actually more like all beer and lollipops.”