Hipsters exhaust Bolivian stocks of quinoa even though quinoa tastes like a dead yak’s nits.

 –Reuters–

The Bolivian economy is today in turmoil as it has been revealed that 1st world hipsters in the USA have exhausted Bolivia’s stockpile of quinoa even though quinoa tastes like a dead yak’s nits.

Bolivia in happier days.

The trendy rice-like food, which does indeed taste like some old dead monkeys boiled nits, is considered de rigeur haute cuisine by the hipster poseur wankers that today populate the USA.

A Bolivian quinoa paddy, now barren except for one half of one fucken fence.

“I cannot believe those bearded show pony wallies ate the whole lot” said Bolivia’s Minister for Yak’s Nits I mean Trade and Industry. “It’s not even a fucken food you dickheads, it just grows wild in the arse-end of beyond where yaks and monkeys and tree goats piss and shit all over the fucken stuff. Stupid seppos. That’ll be $13.99 a gram please, haha dickheads.”

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“Ship ahoy, wankers.”
–Bolivia’s Minister for Yak’s Nuts