—Daily Mainichi
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, Japan Rail is winning constituents hearts by opening a line of special Groping Carriages on all of its trains. The perverts paradises are recognizable by their pink paint jobs and pedo hungry eye motifs.
The idea for the carriages emerged from a gathering of old duffer employees bemoaning the morning plight of their male peers: all male passengers are barred from entering women’s carriages for fear they may summon the Spirit of 37′ and grope, rape, kill, fuck and eat every female in sight.
“The special pink carriages are like our bat-signal, our call to arms” said one of the employees. “Any female, irrespective of age, the younger the better really, any female standing anywhere in those pink carriages is going to become a bukkake cum-silo anime loli-goth rape fantasy participant for the entire duration of their 7-minute ride into work. Or school. Or kindy.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day from Japan Rail.”
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