Japanese Parliamentary Summer Bukkake Festa Kicks Off

–Japan Today–

The Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe today kicked off the 217th Annual Japanese Parliamentary Summer Bukkake Festa in fine style with the traditional cracking of the cucumber.

The ceremonial snapping of the cucumber, an occasion that has signified the start of the Japanese Parliamentary Summer Bukkake Festa since 1783, coincidentally, the year of the Ming Cunt Invasion.

“Oh my God his hands are so strong” swooned this years Bukkake Guest Starlet, Yuko Todai, Japan’s Minister for Recreational Train Bondage. “He snapped the cucumber in half like it was nothing!”
“Yes, you’re in good hands”, murmured a proud Abe. “And once the entire cabinet repairs to behind closed doors, in the air-conditioned comfort of the ancient and hallowed Bukkake Chamber, half of this cucumber is going right up your arse.”
“What about the other half?”
“Makeshift ballgag to stifle your screams.”
“Oh…”
“The cucumber signifies, of course, the cock” continued Abe, completely unaware of the single tear now stealing down Todai’s cheek. “The cracking of the phallic likeness to initiate bukkake chamber cum silo proceedings signifies the staple tenet of the Japanese way of life, yes, the belittlement of women, the bending and breaking of their collective will, a tenet we focus on with libidinous myopia as the 3-day Bukkake Festa unravels. To cut a long story short Yuko, or Yoko, or whatever your fucking name is, this entire basket of vegetables is going right up your clacka. Including those huge hoary great fucken big green things over there. So stop crying, pop the top, and say hello to some Japanese agriculture.”