–Japan Today–
Japan’s ex-Emperor, at the rip old age of 96, has today secured his first ever grot mag. “Yeah, I abdicated in May so with the cameras finally buggering off I’m keen to at last have a nice, long, leisurely flog to some glossy full-colour grot mag depicting filthy gagged spunks copping gallons of muck up the shitter.”
“The Empress dried up rootwise halfway through the fucking war” opined the Emperor, somewhat wistfully. “And I’m not talking about the bloody Vietnam War either. Anyway, this mag should do the trick. While The Imperial Nag is out dicking around in the garden with her fucken bug collection or some bullshit I’ll whip out the imperially abdicated wang and set to work priming the royal lineage pump with an eye on extricating some blue blood geyser snot gush all over the monogrammed imperial cumrag. Do not disturb, cunts.”
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