--Japan Times--
Japanese Nikon technicians are currently working long into the night to "reverse engineer" reflections from a shovel wielded by Melania Trump in the hopes of yielding a groundbreaking first-ever First Lady upskirt panty shot.
"We are so close" said lead technician Dr H.Entai. "There are however certain angles that are proving uncooperative due to the unbending laws of physics related to space and time. We have already tried numerous relays to our space station in the hopes of refracting the light of time itself but so far no luck. The boys are ploughing on though and are all quietly rock-hard at the prospect of some sweet, sweet First Lady grud shots. Even just some upper thigh shots would see the dark room go off like the NASA control room in 1969".
An artists simulation of the Nikon Camera Division once the lads obtain the elusive first-ever First Lady panty shot:
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