Welcome to Bluehost Tech Support

Welcome to Bluehost Tech Support

"Gidday Bluehost, dipshit Dawlo here forgot the password and email he used to register his last fuckhead blog with, please send us a password reset, thanks mate."

"Hello and Welcome to Bluetooth, Bluehost, Paypal and Bezos.Inc. How can I help you today, Sir?"

"Password reset please."













"Thank you Sir. Please pop in to our Geneva branch with government issue ID retinal scans run in triplicate through James Bond's fucken one-eye. Can I assist you with anything else today Sir?"

"What the f....."













"Sorry Sir we can no longer assist you until you provide the required documentation, have a nice day Sir, Sir is there anything else we can assist you with today?"

"Are you on drugs? Shit-for-brains Dawlo just wants 

a password reset for his fuckhead blog please, thank you"














"Sorry Sir we can no longer assist you until you provide the required documentation, have a nice day Sir, Sir is there anything else we can assist you with today?"

"P-A-S-S-W-O-D-R-D."













"Thank you Sir, and may the spirit of passover be with you too."

"Look, you've got colour copies of Dawlo's government issued ID, black and white copies of his government issued ID, his name, his address, all his phone numbers, retinal scans of James Brown's bumcrack, his credit card number, James Bond's credit card number as well as THE MONEY FUCKBRAINS DAWLEY PAID YOU FOR A STUPID LITTLE WEB BLOG SO PLEASE can you just FUCKING PLEASE RESET THE FUCKING PASSWORD TO HIS STUPID LITTLE POINTLESS WEB BLOG PLEASE THANK YOU".

"Hello and Welcome to Bluehost.Bluetooth.Bezos.Paypaypal.Cunt.Inc. How can I help you today, Sir?"

"Password reset please."












"Sir, your web blog homepage has been **SUSPENDED**. Feel free to obtain a Supreme Court Justice Court Order from James Bond's bumcrack and we'll happily unlock your domain for you. You have a nice day now, Sir. Can I assist you with anything else today Sir?"

"Soooooo just to clarify, we've paid you Bluehost.Bezos.Big.Business cunts $100 FOR A STUPID LITTLE WEB BLOG THAT YOUVE NOW  FUCKING SUSPENDED JUST BECAUSE DOGBRAIN DAWLO FORGOT HIS FUCKEN PASSWORD?"














"It's quite saddening to hear about your experience. Please consult with Bluehost Tech Support, they'll be only too happy to assist, thank you, have a nice day, Sir"

"You ARE tech support. That's why we called you".















"Sorry Sir we can no longer assist you until you provide the required documentation, have a nice day Sir, Sir is there anything else we can assist you with today?"

"P-A-S-S-S-S-S-W-O-D-R-D-D-D."


















"Thank you Sir, and may the spirit of passover be with you too."

Gunston Guide to Internet Porn Addiction

 

Gidday, Web Bloggers.

 

Wayne Gunston here.

 

 

Now then, straight down to web blog business; are you hopelessly addicted to internet pornography? Not yet? Well, you will be by the end of this blog post.

**GUNSTON GAUARNTEE**

 

By the end of this blog post we will have your prudish top-hatted amish arse whipping your cock out on the bus without a moment's hesitation to whack it to octopii enema bungcrack action on your mobile phone.

 

**GUNSTON GUARUANTEE**

 

Step 1.

 

The first step towards facilitating a fullblown addictionne to internet pornography is fairly straight-forward; you simply need to tick ALL of the grot boxes.

 

Easy.

 

 

Put the lotion in the potion. Or is it put the motion in the lotion? I forget now, anyway, one of those cool internet sayings. Either way, you need to enable ALL the grot options on the internet porn sites in order to MAXIMISE grot. This is Wanking 101.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step 2.

 

Step 2, next, download Google Chrome as your new browser thingy. This automatically translates allllll those japanese grot sites into English giving you this;

 

 

See? You didn't even know you were addicted to three-tier bellied smut. But now you do. The names for your addiction are starting to take shape. C-Section Stiffy Section. Octopii Pregnancy Glands. All this and more. All thanks to Gunston Web Blogging.

 

"I don't know about you guys but this granny tranny mugshots database has got me rock hard."

 

"Thank you Gunston Web Blogging, thank you! I haven't had a stiffy this big for years!"

--Steven Toast.
 

 

 

 

"Hahaha, that guy's penis erection is so massive it almost takes up the whole television screen!"

 

 

 

 

Step 3.

 

The next step towards achieving a full-blown internet porn addiction is to quit your job and go FULL-TIME on Internet Porn. This is quite a sacrifice to make BUT I THINK YOU CAN DO IT. I HAVE FAITH IN YOU. GUNSTON FAITH.

 

"Honey, what I am about to tell you next is going to change your life!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sweetie, it says here you no longer work at Goldman Sachs? And it seems all your portfolio bookmarks have been replaced by Pornhub, Spankbang, Xhamster, Motherless and 54 other adult websites?"
"I know, right? Isn't it fucking awesome?"

 

 

 

 

Righto.  

 

I think my work here is done. Welcome to the world of Internet Porn Addiction.

 

-Wayne.