Turtles at risk from Japanese.

 –Queensland Times–

Australian Wildlife officials are concerned that their lazy cunt population of slack-arsed little turtles may be at risk from Japanese whalers who reportedly want to kill, fuck and eat all the turtles in the world for scientific purposes.

“While this little turtle is fast asleep he may not even notice a Japanese whale hunters cock being rammed straight up his little arse.”
– Australian Wildlife official.

“We are concerned that these dopey little turtle cunts are defenseless if the Japs turn up ready to skullfuck, rape, cook and eat the hopeless little shits for scientific purposes. Last thing I want is my daughter’s delightful little pet turtle named “Myrtle” to wind up in some raunchy Japanese octopii/turtle porno rape/hostage flick. Pixellated or not. Of course I’d still watch it though. For research purposes”

A Japanese spokesman has declined to say whether or not turtle-rooting is on the national agenda in the forseeable future.

Japanese whalers erupt in delight after hearing that one day they may get to rape the corpse of some poor little kid’s turtle named Myrtle.