Gunston Guide to Internet Porn Addiction

 

Gidday, Web Bloggers.

 

Wayne Gunston here.

 

 

Now then, straight down to web blog business; are you hopelessly addicted to internet pornography? Not yet? Well, you will be by the end of this blog post.

**GUNSTON GAUARNTEE**

 

By the end of this blog post we will have your prudish top-hatted amish arse whipping your cock out on the bus without a moment's hesitation to whack it to octopii enema bungcrack action on your mobile phone.

 

**GUNSTON GUARUANTEE**

 

Step 1.

 

The first step towards facilitating a fullblown addictionne to internet pornography is fairly straight-forward; you simply need to tick ALL of the grot boxes.

 

Easy.

 

 

Put the lotion in the potion. Or is it put the motion in the lotion? I forget now, anyway, one of those cool internet sayings. Either way, you need to enable ALL the grot options on the internet porn sites in order to MAXIMISE grot. This is Wanking 101.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step 2.

 

Step 2, next, download Google Chrome as your new browser thingy. This automatically translates allllll those japanese grot sites into English giving you this;

 

 

See? You didn't even know you were addicted to three-tier bellied smut. But now you do. The names for your addiction are starting to take shape. C-Section Stiffy Section. Octopii Pregnancy Glands. All this and more. All thanks to Gunston Web Blogging.

 

"I don't know about you guys but this granny tranny mugshots database has got me rock hard."

 

"Thank you Gunston Web Blogging, thank you! I haven't had a stiffy this big for years!"

--Steven Toast.
 

 

 

 

"Hahaha, that guy's penis erection is so massive it almost takes up the whole television screen!"

 

 

 

 

Step 3.

 

The next step towards achieving a full-blown internet porn addiction is to quit your job and go FULL-TIME on Internet Porn. This is quite a sacrifice to make BUT I THINK YOU CAN DO IT. I HAVE FAITH IN YOU. GUNSTON FAITH.

 

"Honey, what I am about to tell you next is going to change your life!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sweetie, it says here you no longer work at Goldman Sachs? And it seems all your portfolio bookmarks have been replaced by Pornhub, Spankbang, Xhamster, Motherless and 54 other adult websites?"
"I know, right? Isn't it fucking awesome?"

 

 

 

 

Righto.  

 

I think my work here is done. Welcome to the world of Internet Porn Addiction.

 

-Wayne.