–Silicon Times–
The source of yesterday’s online outage which crippled large sections of the internet has apparently been traced.
It leads directly to Bill Gates computer keyboard in Africa:
Gates and his idiotic computer camouflage techniques in Africa. Once a nerd, always a nerd.
The supposedly philanthropic computer mogul is currently in Africa secretly trying to sell more of his shitty Microsoft computers to starving confused crying cross-eyed African single mothers.
Gates has apparently backflipped on his lifelong technological convictions and now believes sites like twitter and Amazon should be done away with and computer enthusiasts should get back to what he invented the machines for in the first place: a way to avoid girls and play “Pong” in the basement. “That’s why I simply pushed Ctrl + A + f7 and brought down half the internet” said Gates. “I wrote this shit, remember. Tards.”
“In your face, Zuckerberg. Fucken loser.”
Gates is, surprisingly, still now the Unofficial Pong World Champion after beating Steven Jobs in his basement in 1974. The two had another teenage nerd lawyer friend draw up a contract prior to the match-up declaring the winner World Champion in perpetuity, two years before the game was released to the rest of the world.
Gates has promised further attacks unless people stop “using computers for internetting.”
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