–SMH–
Recent data hacks from Facebook have revealed that the epicentre of online porn consumption can be traced to a small house in Wollongong, Australia. “Yeah a bloke called Gene-o has pulled it at a bloody alarming rate since the first fucken day we started collecting stats” confided a Facebook data analyst. “Octopus bukkake, tranny grannies, donkey incest, bugger me there’s basically nothing the bloke hasn’t fucken tugged it to.”
“You left out the amputee shit.”
–Gene-o of Wollongong.
“Some other inhabitants of the house are also in our red zone” continued the analyst. “One individual named ‘Trevor’ is actually onto his third dick. He wore out the other two. Our data indicates he has perused no less than 812,922,001 video clips in the last 10 years specifically related to rooting car exhaust pipes. He is fucked in the head.”
“Mate, last vid was some NASA shit, fucken silicon fibre I reckon.”
–Mr Trevor of Wollongong
“However the most alarming statistic comes from, quite incredibly, yet another individual residing in the very same house, a Mr Wayne Gunston. He has only viewed the one video clip in the last 10 years of facebook records, however, he has viewed the one clip, which runs for 22 seconds, a chart-topping 2,902,399 times and counting. It is some sort of public dunny rooting clip where a bloke gets a urinal cake jammed up his bumcrack by some old lady. This drives Wayne wild. Sends him into the throes of sexual ecstasy. It’s all he watches. He is a fucking lunatic.”
“Might sign up for this facebook bullshit. Could do with a new vid.”
–Wayne.
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