–SMH–
Australian supermodel Elle “The Body” Macpherson is set to branch out from her highly successful Armpit Maintenance Web Blog and open up her very own Armpit Service Bay to be located in sunny downtown Wollongong, Australia.
“Yep, it’ll be just like a mechanic’s service bay” said the legendary supermodel over the phone. “You trundle in, we winch your arms up and we give you a thorough armpit servicing. We will offer a wide range of affordable options, from barnacle scraping to weed whacking to dog-semen oiling right up to a solid 5-minute armpit licking from one of our highly-qualified staff members.”
“I’m sorry, what was that second-to-last option you just said?”
“No, I’m not personally working in the armpit service bay you stupid fuckwit” barked Macpherson down the phoneline. “Like hell. You think I’m going to spend all day foraging around some revolting bastards hairy fucking armpit, plucking out their armpit nits, disgusting little white grubs wriggling around in their bushy fucken underarm hair jungle? I’m Elle Mcpherson you fuckwit, not Elle McArmpitNitHunter. You dickhead.”
“No, that is not the dog we use for the semen oil. That’s his mum.”
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