–Times–
Today it has been revealed that the late great Dr Steve Hawking slipped one final request into his Last Will & Testament, one that has shocked and alarmed the tenured faculty at Cambridge University.
“My final wish is that following my repatriation to the great black hole in the sky, my tenured chair of cosmology at Cambridge University should be passed on to my dear, dear friend ‘Steve-o’ of the TV show ‘Jackass’. We also have the same first name so there’s no need to change the name plate on the door. Steve-o will continue my research into black holes and quantum physics. Thanks.”
–Newly tenured Cambridge professor emeritus and inventor of the jellyfish sombrero, Dr Steve-o.
Dr Steve-o has today said he is proud to continue Dr Hawking’s work. “Yeah, there are definitely some black holes in my head. I will research the shit out of those things. I will also start a new fraternity on the Cambridge campus. I’ll call it ‘Phi Kappa Delta Force Black Hole Black Death Black Metal Party. Wheelchair jellyfish sombrero races in the quad every lunchtime in honour of my dead little science buddy Steve. HELL YEAH!"
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