Friday, August 14, 2020

Japan demands A-Bomb apology from President Trump

 –TOKYO–

Japan has urged President Trump to apologize for the U.S. atomic bombings when he visits Japan next. The Commander-In-Chief visited Japan just recently but declined to issue a formal written apology for a-bombing Japan’s nutsacks back to the motherfucking Stone Age a few years back.

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“FUCK YOUUU GAIJIN TRUMP,
WHERE IS MY WAR SORRY?”
–local MP Mr Kamei.

“Japan Army, I mean, Japan Friendly Aid Unit, was working their way through Asia in 1940’s, spreading good cheer and food parcel” said Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, “when suddenly, in 1945, news comes through from back home that violent war criminal americans have dropped murderous and potentially lethal atomic bombs all over our mum’s dogs nuts. What the fuck, USA? Cock is meat murder all over our groin gristle.”

“Which one of you big-nosed gaijin freak war criminal terrorist cocksuckers is the Trump? ANSWER ME.”

“There we were, 1945, minding our own business” continued Abe, “having a good old sing-a-long in Burma, Japanese tea brewing on campfire, live chinaman roasting over an open fire, when hello, we get news from home that ballsacks have gone nuclear, testi’s are radiation glowing all over the town, dicks are on fire, and bumcracks are melting all up and down the main drag. What the fuck, USA? Give peace a chance!”


…therefore, here in makeshift Japanese Hague, I today pronounce that you are all GUILTY of war crime against Japanese Imperial Army I mean Japanese Imperial Aid Unit.”

“Just working our way through Manchuria” continued Abe, “giving aid to needy dogbreed ching-chong citizens, handing out free chopsticks to those smelly cross-eyed rickshaw motherfuckers, instructing them on the finer points of Japanese bukkake queue etiquette, when, what the fuck USA, a blinding light in the sky and suddenly Code Red, mum’s cock has gone thermonuclear. What the fuck, America? If you want complimentary chopsticks, just ask for the fucken things!”

“We stop by with free complimentary chopsticks for friendly Pearl Harbour barbeque in 1940’s and you repay us 4 years later with nuclear detonation? What the fuck, America? SAY SORRY 4 WARRR.”

“My Grandfather Kishi and Uncle Tojo were having a peaceful game of mahjong in parlour” continued Abe, “when suddenly bright nuclear burst and grandfather and uncle are both whisked off to War Tribunal Committee and strung up by their nuts before sundown. For what, America? For what! Are you implying Uncle Tojo cheated at mahjong? He was man of honour! Trump USA must apologize not only for A-Bomb murders but also apologize for impeaching honour of Uncle Tojo as serious mahjong competitor.”

“Drinks and refreshments will be served in the foyer afterwards. Thank you.”

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