National Lollipop Day No Picnic For One Local Man.

 –Wuhan Times–

Here on Wuhan’s annual National Lollipop Day, a local man has been forced into eating a raspberry-flavoured lollipop despite raspberry being a lollipop flavour he despises.

“It’s National Lollipop Day you stupid cunt, you have to eat the fucking lollipop.”

“That fussy cunt” said a National Lollipop Day spokesman. “We’re snowed under here with this fucken death virus quarantine bullshit and yet we’re kindly and benevolently still going ahead with National Lollipop Day and hello, this spoiled fuckwit is holding out for a tangerine peach-flavoured lollipop or some bullshit? Raspberry’s good enough, you precious dickhead. Lollipops don’t grow on trees you know, Little Emperor, so just be thankful for what you get. Fucken spoiled wanker.”