Japan gears up for war atrocities by making porpoises extinct.

 –AP Press–

Elated with yesterday’s surprise unanimous passing of a motion in the Japanese House of Commons which approved the resumption of WWII, Japan has deployed their entire navy to the Sea of Japan for target practice with the express purpose of shooting every single last porpoise in the face until they are all dead. “They are useless for sushi research and no prick likes them” said Admiral Sato. “They are ugly and, frankly, we need the target practice.”

“There’s one of the fat little dickheads! FIRE!”

“Once all the porpoises are dead then it’s back home to refuel before we resume the push through Burma, then on into Manchuria, dead bodies everywhere, then onto Berlin, or Auschwitz, or Poland, or some other foreign bumhole, fuck knows where yet” continued Sato. “Then after they’re all speaking Japanese its back home for a nice hot cup of green tea and some lovely fresh porpoise sushi haha just kidding we’re not eating that rubbish, we’re not barbarians.”

“Suck on this one, Flipper!”