“Japan Is Safety Radioactive Leak” – Power Plant Owner.

 —Associated Press—

KASHIWAZAKI, Japan – The operator of an earthquake-ravaged nuclear plant said Wednesday a radioactive leak from the plant was 50 percent bigger than first reported two days ago. The mayor ordered the facility closed until its safety could be confirmed.

“40,000 barrels containing radioactive waste knocked over? Chigeeeeh. Only 400. Almost none.”

“Yes lids come off 40 of them. 40 out of 40,000? No problem. No cocks glowing tonight. No more questions, chinaman.”

“No radioactive water leaked into Sea of Japan. Besides, it only one-billionth of Japan legal limit. Plus trade winds blow it to China, omeeeh. Chinese cocks fall off next generation. Small cocks anyway. No more questions, fuzaken na.”

“All safety measures worked. My cock is A-OK. See? Yes, small, but no glowing. Touch is ok.”

“Only 50 cases of malfunctioning and trouble found. Not 5 million. Just 50. And 4 barrels small glow. OK, fuck off now. No more questions.”