Japan Prime Minister Gripped By Hallucinations.

 –Japan Today–

Reports are filtering through that Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe is today in the grip of some sort of raging brain hallucinations.

“Yes, Mr Emperor. I will attack China immediately and bomb all their shit right the fuck back to the Ming Cunt Dynasty. Yes, Your Majesty. Right away, Your Majesty.”

In what looks to be an eerily similar case to that suffered by his predecessor Naoto Kan spraguedawley.com/japanese-politician-forms-shadow-cabinet/ Abe has seemingly taken complete and utter leave of his senses.

“No, Your Majesty. The giant stupid hat you are wearing today does not make you look short, Your Majesty.”

“No, Your Majesty. We still cannot find the Shadow Cabinet. We believe it to still be in the shadows somewhere, Your Majesty.”

Japan Prime Minister’s Hallucinations Continue On Into The Night.

–Japan Times–

Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe’s hallucinations appear to be showing little sign of unabatment as they now move into hour 12.

“No, Your Majesty. Everything has not gone yellow. Although such a racial slur is still occasionally inferred upon our people in regards to the colour yellow, your mind is not playing tricks on you, Your Majesty. I believe this distinct hue to be merely in relation to the commencement of nightfall here in the Bonsai Cunt Kingdom.”

“No, Your Majesty. Neither of us have suddenly shrunk in physical size. We are still titans of all that we survey. In fact, if I may be permitted a brief aside, Your Majesty, as we are both mammals of the humanoid persuasion, we have remained roughly the same size and general dimension since the completion of puberty. Perhaps this current visual aberation could be some sort of optical illusion in our mind’s eye, Your Majesty. Yes, your Royal Excellency, I shall summon The Royal Ophthalmologist at once, Your Royal Highness.”

“Yes, Your Majesty, we do appear to be suddenly noticeably larger in this dimension. Perhaps it would be an opportune juncture to take advantage of this sizeable expansion in bodily dimensions and resume the push through Manchuria? Yes, Your Majesty, I agree. In keeping with your Imperial Decree, I shall conscript all able-bodied men commencing at 0600 tomorrow to resume the annexation of Greater Manchuria.”