–Japan Today–
The recently-abdicated Emperor of Japan has admitted to last night having a hallucination involving China, the war, and a big fucking toy panda.
The retired Emperor, seen here in an excerpt from his own hallucination.
“We were pushing though the Manchurian countryside at dawn” said the slightly distraught-looking Imperial Monarchy. “My bayonet was gleaming in the midday sun, the boys were in good spirits, about to down-tools for the evening campfire sing-a-long, and suddenly there’s a huge grinning zombie-eyed Chinese panda toy right there with us! It was huge! But it had no arms! And of course, my dickhead wife was right there beside me too. That nagging pesky crow is even pestering me inside my own bloody mind! What the hell? Where am I now? Am I in China? Did I even go to China? Am I still the Emperor? We did win didn’t we? Hello?”
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