Japan’s New Whaling Plan Will Prove Whale Hunt Is For Scientific Purposes.

 –TOKYO–

Joji Morishita, Japan’s commissioner to the International Whaling Commission, has decreed that his new whale hunting plan will prove the scientific rationale behind Japan’s much-criticised whale face harpooning festivities in the south seas.

“For the last time, it’s not a fucking menu, would you cunts please stop teasing me and calling it a fucking menu.”

“We have cut whaling by two-thirds” reiterated Morishita. “That should be enough to prove to the world that the hunt is for genuine scientific purposes because two thirds is a mathematical fraction and mathematics is one of the scientific disciplines.”

“Yes, it does mention the word ‘sushi’ but there’s no prices on it so how can it be a menu? Aha!”

“We are happy to talk about conservation or recovery of depleting species or endangered species” continued Morishita “…that is on the dinner table I mean the table for discussion. In fact we would love to replenish their fat fuck stocks so we can research the shit out of some more of the fat ugly delicious wobbly dickheads.”

“Look, ‘sushi’ is a Japanese word and as a foreigner you can never understand the delicacies I mean delicate points of our Japanese language.”

 

“Shut up cunt, soy sauce is a very important research lubricant.”