–NZ Herald–
A local New Zealand man has completely misinterpreted the nations new government legislature that allows up to 10 days paid domestic-violence leave.
“I thought domestic-violence leave meant the cunts at work were gonna pay me to go home and bash the old lady up” said the local idiot. “Didn’t really want to smack her around so I went home and just belted the walls a few times, in case the neighbours were listening. Wouldn’t want them to think I was skiving off work, without actually doing any of the paid domestic-violence thing.”
“Bugger me, paid DV, not as easy as it sounds.”
According to the parliamentary bill, the world-first legislation was actually designed to grant victims of domestic violence 10 days paid leave to allow them to leave their partners, find new homes and protect themselves and their children.
“Don’t know if I’ll take my full 10 days allocation” continued the drongo. “Gets a bit tedious belting pots and thumping tables and biffing shit around the kitchen to fake the DV while wife is trying to watch the soapies. Bugger me, tick her off too much during her soapies and the stroppy slag might even get up off her arse and go out and get a fucken job herself, just so she can then take her 10 days paid domestic-violence leave and come home to beat the fucken shit out of me.”
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