Nuremburg Barbie Picks Up New Sponsor.

 –NY Times–

The Special Counselor to President Trump, Dr Nuremburg Barbie, has today confirmed that her new sponsor is agrochemical giant Monsanto.

“Yes, I can indeed confirm that I do now have a sponsorship deal with Monsanto. They reverse-engineered a fertiliser that once I spray all up and down my birth hatch enables me to grow incredibly long pubes. Then, once the pubus memoralis reach the required length, they can be harvested and reappropriated on top of President Trump’s head” stated the Special Counsel, her eyes aglow.

“Yes, I can confirm that President Trump’s hair is already comprised mostly of my pubes” she went on to add. “I would say about 98% of current growth. No further comment. No, ‘Monsanto’ is not a Mexican word. You must be thinking of the word ‘mosquito’. That is a Mexican word. No further comment. Mattel? What has Mattel got to do with it? Pardon? Yes, I am paid handsomely for my contribution to world head piece. No, President Trump and I do not jokingly call his hair ‘the Tijuana Twat Tassles’ for a laugh. No further comment. No, we don’t call his hairdo the Taco Trump Tower Triffids either. No, there are no side effects to the fertiliser. I just have foot-long pubes that’s all.”