— TOKYO
Toyota CEO Akio Toyota yesterday called a press conference to apologize
for “stupid foreign cunts who cannot operate Japanese car gas pedal”.
“I sincerely apologize for spastic-footed foreigner who cannot control accelerator with giant size-12 foot shoe and crash car and die.”
In addition, the company president has responded to international outcry over his company’s potentially fatally-flawed vehicles by instructing his upper management team to quickly set up a special “Do Fucking Nothing Whatsoever Task Force.”
“‘Loose floor mats that can cause gas pedals to stick’? Is stupid foreign cunt wearing SHOE inside car again? No further comment. Read fine-print of car purchase document thank you dead foreign cunt.”
He added the company will set up a committee to analyse the cost-effectiveness of “ignoring whinging foreign cunts forever”.
“Toyota’s car is no problem for We Japanese. Foreigner cannot understand delicate sensibility of Japanese car gas pedal. That is all. Please Rest In Peace please, insensitive foreign fuckfaces.”
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