Trump Solves “Non-Existent” Climate Change Issue In 30 Seconds.

 –NY Times–

President Donald Trump has today come up with a novel solution for the climate change issue currently manifesting itself globally in the form of rising ocean levels.

“Look, they tell me the ocean levels are rising…” said the skeptical Commander in Chief. “Personally, I don’t believe it. Too much water? So what are they waiting for? Just use fire to burn the excess water off. Your local fire department can do that. Send a fire engine to the beach. They can use fire to lower the ocean levels. One beach at a time. Less water means lower ocean levels. That’s basic science. Use fire. Fire is a well known heat generator. Fire can burn all sorts of things. Including water. Easy. Problem solved. Next!”

“Hurry up, get to that goddamn beach, this global warming shit is a race against time.”