Local Bachelor Finally Ties The Knot

–Wollongong Gazette–

Local bachelor Mr Wayne Gunston of 666 Bumhole Close, Wollongong, NSFW, has finally tied the knot.

Mr Gunston’s bride’s name is Raewyn Goolagong of Wollongong.

Mrs Raewyn Goolagong
of Wollongong.

“Yeah, I first laid eyes on her last night” said Mr Gunston. “She was taking a dump in the urinal in the blokes dunnies at the Redfern RSL. Proposed to her on the spot. She was still mid-dump but quickly replied ‘yeah righto, fuck it.’ Good enough for me. Anyway, here we are on Saturday morning and once we get back from this arvo’s honeymoon down at the chip shop I reckon the wife could be put to good use in the family urinal cake smuggling business.”

“Fucken cracker.”
-Mr Gunston.

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