WHO Director Grilled Over Unhealthy Physical Appearance.

 –Times–

At a press conference today, the Director of the WHO has been forced to go on the defensive over his deeply unhealthy physical appearance.

“What’s the story with your fucken teeth mate? They look like the teeth of a 5-year old sprog who smokes 2 packs a fucken day and grew up in Chernobyl.”

“Please, let’s not make this about my physical appearance. We are today facing a global pa

“Your eyes, mate. Looking a bit rheumy there. Have you got rubella? Or are you just a massive fucken pisshead? Grog is unhealthy. Bad for the liver buddy.”

“You’re a 2-packs-a-day man aren’t you? You gotta cut down on the fucken smokes mate, those things will fucken kill you. Not bloody healthy.”

“Are you the healthiest bastard they could find to wheel out to front the fucken World Health Organisation? Bugger me, may as well send out Ozzy Osbourne as spokesman for the fucken pope.”

“Those bags under your eyes, mate. How much sleep do you get, about 8 or 9 minutes a night?”

“Mate, have you ever been outside? Like, out into direct sunlight? You look anaemic as shit with possible iron and vitamin D deficiencies.”

“You’re a bit overweight, buddy. Maybe lay off the pies and ramen and fucken sausies. That shit is all fairly fucken unhealthy, Mr Director of the World Health Organisation.”

“Fine then, fuckya, I quit, fuckyuz all. I’m off back to the fucken pub for a pint, a puff, and a pie or three. Fucken wankers.”