Local Mother Despairs Over Son's Twitter Activity

--NY Times--

A local mother has said she "despairs" over some of her sons grandiose aims as broadcast by the young man on his twitter account.

"I don't know, I just can't help but feel he's overreaching" said Elton's weary mother Mrs Frass. "Just start with small steps, I tell him, then once you have a steady source of income we'll move onto harnessing the moon's gravitational pull to slingshot armageddon upon the ashen faces of the nonbelievers or whatever it is you want to try to get done".

"To be frank, I just wish he'd try to get another job" continued Mrs Frass. "He sits in his bedroom all day on his portable telephone tweeting out all these pie-in-the-sky notions of 'crushing the sun for all eternity with his ashen hands' and what-have-you but, frankly, I just don't think he's fully thought through the logistics of some of these nebular undertakings. He did have a part-time job at Burger King once but the staff all got tired of him constantly making grandiose proclamations about vomiting the wind of Valhalla from angel wings aloft, borne upon the phantom-limbed one-eye of Zeus and so on and so forth and they quietly fired him".