Sunday, October 17, 2021

Wayne Gunston's Guide to $20 Words.

 Wayne Gunston's Guide to $20 Words.


Gidday, tatterdemalion cunts!

Welcome to Wayne Gunston's Guide to $20 Words.


Me, Wayne, your favourite
lalochezian callipygous bastard.
I know all the $20 words. I bought
the whole fucken lot for 50 bucks
at that garage sale on the weekend.


Now then, let's get down to business. How many $20 words do you know cunt? Four? Sorry smartarse, but "supercilious" is no longer a $20 word. It's a $5 word at best. So now you only know three $20 words. Callipygous and two others.


Pathetic.


You thick bastard.


There's only so many times you, the online cunt, can drop "mellifluous", "callipygous" and that one other flash harry word into your stunted, shithouse prose before the ruse is well and truly up.

That's where I come in. Once your cheque's cleared, my Wayne Gunston's Guide to $20 Words will show you exactly where and when to use $20 words.


$695.99 for just 12 easy-to-follow instalments.

No layby. Stop fucking around and PAY NOW.




Here is just a brief sampler of what you can expect from Wayne Gunston's Guide to $20 Words.

* A refresher course on the $20 words you already know. Face it, you've already forgotten what "callipygous" means and you only found out about the fucken stupid thing 3 bloody sentences ago. Stupid bastard. PAY NOW!

* An autographed strand of my lustrous hair. Use it as a bookmark. It's that bloody thick!

* Words.

* Sexually graphic passages.

* Pictures of $20 words.




Gunston InfoMercial



Do you even know the meanings of words?

DO YOU?

Let's look at the meanings of some words and find out the history of where the meanings of the words came from:

masturbator
/ˈmastəbeɪtə/

"Mastur" is the Slavic word for "Master".
"Bator" is the Greek word for "baton".


In its most figurative sense, to masturbate is to master the baton.
forum
/ˈfɔːrəm/

"Forum" is the singular form of the greek term "Forii Generalis". This was originally a foyer of general forus interaction which was first discovered by the Greeks in Ancient Rome in early 1994.
General
/ˈdʒɛn(ə)r(ə)l/

The word "General" can be traced to the 3rd century Greek leader "Genus Generalis", a mighty historical figure who led his battalion in the Battle of Alpaca in 36BC.

Not only will my Guide to $20 Words educate you about ALL the $20 words it will also "troubleshoot" those words that are often mistaken for being $20 words but are in fact NOT $20 words.

Here is a brief sample list of just some of the commonly mistaken $20 words as exposed by Wayne Gunston's Guide to $20 Words.

* Wheelbarrow (quite a long word, hence the confusion. NOT a $20 word)

* Elephant (elephants are big which makes people think the word "elephant" is a big, long, confusing word but at a paltry 7 letters elephant is not an overly long word)

* Psychedelic (nothing about a hippie is worth $20 bucks)




Pay NOW to get the full list of NOT $20 words!

Just $850.99 in 8 easy instalments.



Operators are standing by!



"Thank you for shopping with Gunston and Gunston,
 thank you, next please, thank you bye bye now, thank you, look cunt would you please get off the fucken line I'm trying to look busy here, next please thank you bye bye now."


That's it then, we're all done here, by stupidly clicking on that paypal logo above you've triggered an automatic payment, thanks for shopping with Gunston & Gunston, my fuckwit brother Wayne is coming over to your place right now in his ute to deliver your stupid fuckhead book.


"Jesus, I wouldn't pay shit for this."


Righto.

--Wayne.




Worldwide Drug Companies Authorise "Auckland Blues 15-Year Memory Wipe" Vaccine.

--USA Today-

The W.H.O. have granted emergency use authorizations for all drug companies worldwide to begin dispensing an "Auckland Blues 15-Year Memory Wipe" vaccine.

This groundbreaking vaccine promises to wipe the human brain clean of memories pertaining to the Auckland Blues rugby football team's horrendous run over the last 15 years.

Here are the main vaccine participants;



https://i.pinimg.com/originals/91/07/fc/9107fceb5f37cfe1d51ef07bd0fdd2b0.jpg
"Our vaccine is 95% effective. You may have vague memories of Tasesa Lavea's dogshit grubber into touch during the 2nd half of the Auckland Blues Round 7 matchup with the Chiefs from 2007 but apart from that you won't remember a motherfucking thing. You can safely live out the remainder of your days blissfully unaware of legendary All Blacks like Tony Woodcock and Keven Mealamu and Jerome Kaino inexplicably losing match after match after match in the Auckland Blues jersey.

"With an additional vaccine booster shot, we can also eradicate all memories of Auckland Blues player Luke Mcalister's "performance" during the infamous 2007 Rugby World Cup quarter final defeat to France*


*sadly, medical science does not yet exist that can expunge the entire 2007 Rugby World Cup from the human memory. That shit is burned so deep in the Hate Cortex that even science bounces off the fucking thing.






https://www.biospace.com/getasset/27b6d006-693f-4381-af0a-9901003db9a2/
"Our vaccine is 94% effective and can virtually guarantee that the patient will have no memory whatsoever of the pathetic coaching reigns of your John Kirwans and Tana Umagas.

The vaccine uses RNA (mRNA), which instructs cells to produce a self-replicating protein spike fungus all over the human brain. This fungus serves to eat away at all your memories of the last 15 years of Auckland Blues rugby. Unfortunately, the fungiiii also eats away at all of your other memories too and will actually kill you in a matter of days.

But what precious days your last few remaining days will be! You will be free! Free to roam around for days and days with virtually NO memory of the Auckland Blues rugby team from 2005 onwards!

It will surely be a glorious twilight as the sun goes down on your suddenly-shortened life.

Try Moderna!


*nb- one of the unintended side-effects of the Moderna Auckland Blues 15-Year Memory Wipe vaccine is, completely coincidentally, that it also provides 94% immunity from the "Covid-19" virus.

Who knew.








https://www.thestkittsnevisobserver.com/wp-content/uploads/logo-site-white-header.ebc00039f680cf6954c3c7e2f8c25d20.png

"Our vaccine is 66% effective. That's fucking good enough for a drongo like you!

Names like "Nucifora" and "Coach Kirwan" will soon become unrecognisable to your brain.

Sweet!

The J&J vaccine recognizes all vaccine-triggered Blues coefficient spike proteins as invaders and creates antibodies to block mental transmission of any memories of the Blues.

Unfortunately, one slight glitch in the proteins means it also erases all patients memories of anything coloured blue whatsoever. So, patients will forget what the blue ocean even is. And the blue sky. And all the other blue shit on planet earth. A small price to pay, I am sure you will agree. The Blues will no longer be blue to you! Nor will anything else ever be blue to you again! What a relief!


*disclaimer; J&J are not legally responsible if patients walk into the ocean and drown because they no longer recognise the blue oceans of the world as wet dangerous spaces.







http://www.pmlive.com/__data/assets/image/0009/1252575/AZ_Logo_1.jpg
"Our vaccine is 94% effective at eradicating horrific and deeply traumatising memories of the Auckland Blues rugby team's performance over the last 15 years.

All those false dawns, all those underperforming All Blacks, all those clueless dogshit coaches, all erased from your brain. You will just be left with happy thoughts up to about 2003 with Rupeni and King Carlos and Joe Rokocoko and after that... nothing.

Our active ingredient is blood. Specifically, blood clots* which will flood your brain with red shit until they block all the blue shit from ever appearing again. Hey presto, no more Blues memories.

Science 101.



*nb these blood clots will definitely fucking kill you. Contact your local morgue if death persists LOL.






Sputnik Vaccine

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/956126537815941120/FLQAje3a_400x400.jpg

"Our vaccine is 91% effective against the Covid 19 virus. An Auckland Blues Rugby Memory Wipe? What the fuck you talking about? That shit is impossible. Those memories are burned into your fucking brain. You can never forget shit like that. There is no hope for you. Crushing ineptitude and unrelenting disappointments on a scale like that, year after year after year after year, heartbreaking garbage like that is burned into your soul and you can never, ever, ever, ever forget it.

If pain persists in the morning, call Oleg at 0800 SPUTNIKCOCK.





Chinese Vaccine

http://img.youtube.com/vi/O-_4rYWbmUo/0.jpg

Chinese Vaccine Spokesman Jian Yang:

"Our vaccine is 42% effective, you fucking arsehole. It use live bat cock STD virus that go straight up your a arsehole. From there, it replicate and a deliver the gene spike protein to stab up your arsehole a numerous times. It hurt like crazy and you probably die from it but at least you forget all about shithead Auckland Blues rugby team performance from last 15 years. You die happy, arsehole".

FBI Top Ten Most Wanted List

 FBI Top Ten Most Wanted List


http://media.al.com/breaking/photo/fbi-seal-610cb4468723497a.jpg

10. Ost Botha 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/safari/bok.jpg

Aliases: Ost, The Boet Butcher.

Wanted for: 

  • unlicensed plastic surgery
  • aboard a boat
  • at high speed
  • all of the above at the same time

ostsplasticsurgery.wixsite.com/seacruise










9. Roger Gavaskar

https://hosting.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/mugs/.highres/roggavaskar.jpg

Aliases: Rog.

Wanted for:











8. Masahiro Sato

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/mugs/masahirosato.jpg

Aliases: Sato-san.

Wanted for:













7. Anton

https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1f3c0f_52bac3c9a19441c5bc1d10b412bb05a5.jpg/v1/fill/w_490,h_403,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01/1f3c0f_52bac3c9a19441c5bc1d10b412bb05a5.webp

Aliases: "Anton".

Wanted for:

  • bludgeoning to death numerous endangered species
  • while the animals were still alive
  • executed right in front of paying restaurant customers
  • right at their tables
  • a budgie for fucks sake
  • an exploded parakeet on a stick
  • lightly seasoned with paprika.
  • sounds quite good actually
  • when you put it like that

antonsrestaurant.wixsite.com/animals










6. Raelene Gunston

raeleneg.jpg


Aliases: Raels, Wayne's Sheila, Wayne's root, Mrs Wayne, that bitch.

Wanted for:

  • excessive rooting with Wayne Gunston in the Redfern RSL blokes bogs
  • overseeing imprisonment of numerous lawyer wankers: gunstonlegal.wixsite.com/legal










5. Gene Gunston

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/mugs/geneo.jpg

Aliases: Gene-o, Genus, The Genester, Shithead.

Wanted for:

  • being a drongo
  • being no oil painting
  • being thick as a plank
  • losing corpses

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/gunston/fbookgunston_zpsv6clzz05.png










4. Judge Gordon "Gangbang" Gunston

https://i1.wp.com/img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/mugs/gpmod00.jpg

Aliases: The Judge, Gordo, The Gordster, "Gangbang" Gordo.

Wanted for:











3. Wayne Gunston

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/mugs/hair.jpg

Aliases: Wayne-o, Wankerface Wayne, Wankerface Wayne-o.

Wanted for: 

  • corrosive handsomeness
  • just being too damn good-looking
  • having an overly-suave manner with the ladies
  • nicking 7 cubic tonnes of sky-blue urinal cakes from the Redfern RSL bogs over a 20-year period
  • repackaging the stolen urinal cakes as sweets and shipping them to Africa via gunstonshipping.wixsite.com/ship









2. Trevor Gunston

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/fune8.jpg

Aliases: Trevor.

Wanted for:

  • driving like a fucken lunatic
  • that fucking ute
  • if I ever see that fucking ute again...
  • no way that nutjob has a fucken driver's license
  • chainsawing to death innumerable tourist wankers up the Kaimai's. trevschainsawsafar.wixsite.com/safarinotsafarcunt









1. Aunty Doris Gunston

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/fune17.jpg

Aliases: Dorr-o, Aunty Dorr-o, The Evangelion of Death, The Sconemaker, The Sheikbaker.

Wanted for:

  • excessive sherry intake
  • throwing scones at visiting dignitaries
  • hard scones
  • some of them rock-hard
  • rubber-stamping the dumping of an unspecified number of corpses down at the quarry gunstonundertakers.wixsite.com/death

Japan PM Gifts Life-Size Bukkake Tapestry To Italian Prime Minister

 --Japan Today-- The Japanese Prime Minister has today astonished his Italian counterpart by gifting her with a life-size hand-woven tapestr...