Worldwide Drug Companies Authorise "Auckland Blues 15-Year Memory Wipe" Vaccine.

--USA Today-

The W.H.O. have granted emergency use authorizations for all drug companies worldwide to begin dispensing an "Auckland Blues 15-Year Memory Wipe" vaccine.

This groundbreaking vaccine promises to wipe the human brain clean of memories pertaining to the Auckland Blues rugby football team's horrendous run over the last 15 years.

Here are the main vaccine participants;

"Our vaccine is 95% effective. You may have vague memories of Tasesa Lavea's dogshit grubber into touch during the 2nd half of the Auckland Blues Round 7 matchup with the Chiefs from 2007 but apart from that you won't remember a motherfucking thing. You can safely live out the remainder of your days blissfully unaware of legendary All Blacks like Tony Woodcock and Keven Mealamu and Jerome Kaino inexplicably losing match after match after match in the Auckland Blues jersey.

"With an additional vaccine booster shot, we can also eradicate all memories of Auckland Blues player Luke Mcalister's "performance" during the infamous 2007 Rugby World Cup quarter final defeat to France*


*sadly, medical science does not yet exist that can expunge the entire 2007 Rugby World Cup from the human memory. That shit is burned so deep in the Hate Cortex that even science bounces off the fucking thing.







"Our vaccine is 94% effective and can virtually guarantee that the patient will have no memory whatsoever of the pathetic coaching reigns of your John Kirwans and Tana Umagas.

The vaccine uses RNA (mRNA), which instructs cells to produce a self-replicating protein spike fungus all over the human brain. This fungus serves to eat away at all your memories of the last 15 years of Auckland Blues rugby. Unfortunately, the fungiiii also eats away at all of your other memories too and will actually kill you in a matter of days.

But what precious days your last few remaining days will be! You will be free! Free to roam around for days and days with virtually NO memory of the Auckland Blues rugby team from 2005 onwards!

It will surely be a glorious twilight as the sun goes down on your suddenly-shortened life.

Try Moderna!


*nb- one of the unintended side-effects of the Moderna Auckland Blues 15-Year Memory Wipe vaccine is, completely coincidentally, that it also provides 94% immunity from the "Covid-19" virus.

Who knew.










"Our vaccine is 66% effective. That's fucking good enough for a drongo like you!

Names like "Nucifora" and "Coach Kirwan" will soon become unrecognisable to your brain.

Sweet!

The J&J vaccine recognizes all vaccine-triggered Blues coefficient spike proteins as invaders and creates antibodies to block mental transmission of any memories of the Blues.

Unfortunately, one slight glitch in the proteins means it also erases all patients memories of anything coloured blue whatsoever. So, patients will forget what the blue ocean even is. And the blue sky. And all the other blue shit on planet earth. A small price to pay, I am sure you will agree. The Blues will no longer be blue to you! Nor will anything else ever be blue to you again! What a relief!


*disclaimer; J&J are not legally responsible if patients walk into the ocean and drown because they no longer recognise the blue oceans of the world as wet dangerous spaces.








"Our vaccine is 94% effective at eradicating horrific and deeply traumatising memories of the Auckland Blues rugby team's performance over the last 15 years.

All those false dawns, all those underperforming All Blacks, all those clueless dogshit coaches, all erased from your brain. You will just be left with happy thoughts up to about 2003 with Rupeni and King Carlos and Joe Rokocoko and after that... nothing.

Our active ingredient is blood. Specifically, blood clots* which will flood your brain with red shit until they block all the blue shit from ever appearing again. Hey presto, no more Blues memories.

Science 101.



*nb these blood clots will definitely fucking kill you. Contact your local morgue if death persists LOL.






Sputnik Vaccine



"Our vaccine is 91% effective against the Covid 19 virus. An Auckland Blues Rugby Memory Wipe? What the fuck you talking about? That shit is impossible. Those memories are burned into your fucking brain. You can never forget shit like that. There is no hope for you. Crushing ineptitude and unrelenting disappointments on a scale like that, year after year after year after year, heartbreaking garbage like that is burned into your soul and you can never, ever, ever, ever forget it.

If pain persists in the morning, call Oleg at 0800 SPUTNIKCOCK.





Chinese Vaccine



Chinese Vaccine Spokesman Jian Yang:

"Our vaccine is 42% effective, you fucking arsehole. It use live bat cock STD virus that go straight up your a arsehole. From there, it replicate and a deliver the gene spike protein to stab up your arsehole a numerous times. It hurt like crazy and you probably die from it but at least you forget all about shithead Auckland Blues rugby team performance from last 15 years. You die happy, arsehole".