Elle Macpherson “not bloody interested” in rooting turtles.

 –Sydney Herald–

Elle Macpherson is reportedly “not bloody interested” in rooting a turtle.

Even if it was a big turtle.

“Fuck off.”
– Elle.

The supermodel, who was nicknamed ‘The Body’ because of her amazing human sheila bits says that, nearing the age of fifty, she enjoys things like “spatula shopping and basic armpit-maintenance web-logs” rather than daydreaming for hours and hours and hours as to what it would be like to have some crusty old turtle creakily attempt to mount her with his 4 million year old barnacle bit scratching around down there in search of her human birthing trap door.

Elle is realistic about how turtles look now that she is older.

“I’m not 20. I’m not under any illusion about that. And I don’t want to be wasting hours and hours and hours fantasizing about rooting members of the Animal Kingdom. I’m much more interested in starting bushfires in my armpits. Yes, I enjoy the active lifestyle and being outdoors. NO, that doesn’t mean I’m actively looking for animals little stiffies in the bushes, what the fuck is wrong with you?”