Golf Wanker Mickelson Accused of Cheating.

 – -Golf Times—

Golfer Phil Mickelson has hinted at legal action after being accused by a fellow pro of “kicking it around most of the back nine”.

Tiger Woods was quoted in The San Francisco Chronicle yesterday as saying that Mickelson “kicked it most of the way around the back nine when I played with him. He thought nobody was watching. He even whistled while he did it, to casually make it seem like nothing was happening”.

Mickelson (right) having to resort to using golf clubs because there are too many people watching him at the moment.

The USGA has a new rule this year clearly stipulating that kicking it around the back nine is a big no-no.

“No one watches him” continued Woods, “they’re all watching me so he thinks he can just give it a casual sort of kick out of the rough and shit. Fucking obvious. Then he yells out “oh shit, earthquake!” as his ball squirts out from behind a tree or some garbage. Fucking loser.”

When asked yesterday about Wood’s quote about him cheating, Mickelson declined to get into what he referred to as “my ball-kicking thing”. Instead, he suggested that Woods should get back to work “carrying my fucking bag”.

“Carry my bag or I’ll kick both of your balls around the back nine.”– Mickelson to Woods.