Local Couple Enjoying Honeymoon in New York

 –Telegraph–

A local couple are said to be enjoying a “dream honeymoon” in sunny downtown New York. “The week has gone off without a hitch” said one of the newlyweds, a Mrs Sarah Clotforth of Bummclot-upon-Clasp, Essex.

“The lights in the night sky are so beautiful.”

“I’ve taken a few photos” continued Clotforth. “My new husband hasn’t been around too much as he said he had some pressing business to take care of but we have managed to get some holiday snaps in of us together.”

“Hi, mum. It’s quite hot here. It cools down a bit at night but not by that much.”
– Love, Sarah.

“My new husband has been a bit busy, popping out each day for a few hours to ‘take care of his business’ as he says but it’s ok” continued the newlywed bride. “Last time he popped out he was mumbling something about ‘baking the flanks of the infidel interlopers’? I don’t know, he might be scoping out a new restaurant that just opened recently? Maybe we’ll check it out together later!”

“It’s great here. Everywhere we go, we can smell the aroma of local barbeque cuisine.”