Gidday, Web Bloggers.
Wayne Gunston here.
Now then, straight down to fucken business.
Does your Web Blog have a brand?
Your Web Blog Brand is a powerful strategy for building your Web Blog Business. Do you even know what a “brand” is you stupid cunt? A brand is some shit like fucken Nike or Starbucks. Do you even know what those brands make? God, you are a stupid fucken bastard. I can see we’re going to have walk your dumb fat thicko arse RIGHT through this whole web blog brand scenario in tiny little fucken pigeon-toed baby steps.
A web blog brand suggests how your company should be perceived and helps you connect with marks I mean customers. Here are some tips to help you facilitate Web Blog Brand Blog Awareness.
Key components of brand identity.
Branding encompasses a few key visual elements that work together you dumbarse.
1. Tone
What’s the voice of your brand like? Is it fun and playful or corporate and serious? Either way, your tone needs to incorporate a LOT of serious insults. People are idiots and need to be reminded of it at regular junctures. It serves to calibrate their neurological homeostasis. This is Brain Science 101, you stupid cunt. We’ve already covered this in Web Blogging Insults 101. Do you have any memory AT ALL of that you thicko Alzheimer’s cunt? ffs.
Effective Web Branding at Work; Exhibit A:
“Oh man, I was feeling pretty good about myself today but I think this wonderfully-branded internet web blog has just reminded me, in piercingly caustic language, that I am a fat useless piece of shit.”
2. Visual style
Look at your brand visuals— do they have a consistent look to them? Well, they shouldn’t. Consistency is boring as shit. Break it up a bit. People are sick of the Nike swooshstika. Throw some dongers in there.
“Wow, I had no idea two huge cocks could be stretched into the shape of a swastika, hahaha.”
3. Copy and language
When your brand communicates with customers, does it always sound the same?
BORING.
Biff some rando swahili in there. Chuck a few gibberish terrorist arab squiggles in too. Keep cunts on their toes.
“Thank God we stumbled across this internet web blog. I had no idea I was a cunt in cyrrilic.”
4. Logo
A good logo creates a lasting impression on people who see it. The more offensive the logo is, the better. Burn that cunt into their retinas. Respect through fear, wankers.
“This huge swastika donger logo is repeated on every page. With little swastika donger logos all down both sides of the page. I am starting to find comically-large nazi cock regalia a comforting presence in my life.”
Righto that’s all the advice for today.
Frankly, that’s more than enough for a thick knobhead like you to handle in one go.
Righto.
-Wayne.
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