Gunston Web Blogging NEWSLETTER

 

“Log off that highly addictive dog-rooting website for five fucking minutes and GET FUCKIN’ BLOGGING, you deadbeat millenial shithead!”

Writing captivating headlines for your boring fucken Web Blog is an art and a necessity. Follow these tips for more powerful headlines.

Seven Ways to Write Titles That Stand Out:

1. Use the words “dog” and “porn” or any combination thereof in the fucken headline.

2. Use “15 Ways To…” in the headline. That whole “57 Ways to blah blah” malarkie gimmick is fucken clickbait mania.

3. Use “15 Ways To…” in the headline in tandem with the words “dog” AND “porn”. You’ll break the fucking internet.

4. use a FUCKING HUGE font size

5. change colours abruptly

6. #7

“Wow, those dogs are really going at it!”

Get a Custom Gunston Domain for Your Website.

When you upgrade your wordpress.com.gunston.web.blog plan, you get a FREE uber ride in the back of Trev’s ute to ANYWHERE in the greater Wollongong area!*

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*must be raining.

Upgrade your plan NOW, you hopeless fuckwit!

Gunston Blogging PROTIP:

A Foreign Wanker Spotlight

A “Foreign Wanker Spotlight” is a great way to blog about those different looking wankers you might occasionally see walking about the fucken place looking like lost fucken foreign drongos.

Talk to a foreigner while touching them at the same time. It breaks the ice and makes them feel wanted. Who knows, you might get a root and finally have something to fucken blog about. They don’t all have nits you know, you racist fuckwit.