Local Toff Makes Hair Offer

 –Times–

A local toff in Great Britain has offered a small child “50 quid” for her hair.

“What, all my hair?
“No, no, just the back bits. And the top bits.”

“Then, later on, I’ll get your hair bits stapled to my own head” continued the local toff as the small girl’s eyes started to well up with tears. “Come on shithead, whaddya say? You’ve got plenty of hair. Look, here, I even brought my own hair jars. So let’s get busy filling the goddamn hair jars up with hair and no more tears on a Tuesday please loyal subject.”