–Japan Today–
Donald Trump has sent his daughter Ivanka on a trip to Japan in the hope that some of Tokyo’s legendary upskirt photographers can secure some panty shots of his beautiful, beautiful daughter’s gruds. “If anyone can do it, the Japanese can do it” said the bellicose Commander-in-Chief as he absent-mindedly thumbed through an old family photo album consisting entirely of photos of Ivanka at the seaside in her togs. “Dirty ol’ Abe, he’s my wingman in Japan. Great guy, great guy. He will get me those pictures.”
“No chair for you, Ivanka. You sit on table. Why? No reason. Please to sit on table. It is… uh… Japanese custom.”
–Japan Prime Minister Abe greeting Ivanka Trump as 150 assembled Japanese photographers await, fingers poised on Nikon and Canon and Olympus and Pentax zoom lens high-performance cameras.
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