Vegan Blogger Distraught She Can’t Root Sheep.

 –New Zealand Herald–

A visiting American Vegan Blogger is said to be “distraught” that she missed an opportunity to root a truckload of sheep while riding the Inter-Island ferry.

“I forgot my big fucking strap-on dildo” said the distraught blogger. “There they all were, penned in, no escape, just waiting for me to saunter down there and roger them all, one by one, up the arse, under the clear blue sunny sky.”

“I forgot my big fucking dildo.”

“The very reason I became a vegan blogger in the first place was to keep animals alive so I could root more and more and more of them” continued the vegan blogger. “Possums, wombats, anteaters, I root them all.”

“Come on down and gizza root. We love the librarian look.”