--Kabul Times--
The Taliban are reportedly on the verge of filling their ministerial government portfolios with the exact same murderous members from their notorious 1996-2001 regime.
"Look, I'll admit, last time around some of the lads did get a bit carried away with it all" said Taliban Leader Achmed. "But they have all given me personal assurances that they'll be on much, much better behaviour this time around".
"Ahkbar to my left here has promised me he won't eat any babies this time".
"But chief, they're so delic...
"AHKBAR! We've spoken about this!"
"Okay, okay, no babies..."
The following are the Taliban ministerial portfolios that are as of yet unfilled:
Minister of Death.
Minister of Murder.
Minister of Killing.
Minister of Laughing At America.
Minister of Homicide.
Minister of Guns.
Minister of Bashing Up Old Ladies.
Minister of Rape.
Minister of Punching Babies.
Minister of Kicking Women Right In The Face.
Minister of Prayer.
Minister of Public Stonings.
Minister of Guillotinery.
Minister of Throwing Acid In Women's Faces.
Minister of Public Executions.
Minister of Skullfucking Handicapped People In The Brains.
Minister of Casual Limb Dismemberment.
Minister of Homosexual Bonfires.
Minister of Flying Planes Around With No Intention Of Ever Landing Them.
Minister of Eating Babies: Ahkbar.
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