--Japan Times--
The US Envoy John Kerry has been brought in to resolve an international incident involving Japan's Prime Minister Suga and a visiting US Admiral.
The US Admiral and Prime Minister Suga, yesterday.
"We got us a diplomatic incident here, little buddy" Kerry reportedly murmured. "That US Admiral has been standing at attention for 7 hours now. The war's over, Suga. What the hell, dude? What is with the ongoing cruel and inhumane treatment against our servicemen?"
Kerry and Suga, seen here clearly gesticulating over the incident.
"I must profer my deepest apologies" replied the Japanese PM. "I tried and tried and tried to usher the dignitary to his seat numerous, numerous times. To no avail. We even had the translator explain it to him in quite clear English. Again, to no avail. It would appear the individual in question is alingual. He seems unable to respond to any verbal command. We even called the Sony Hologram Unit in to confirm is he is actually human and yes, it seems he is. We tried picture cards of chairs. We tried smiling generously and patting the chair cushion in an inviting, welcoming manner. We tried everything. Please, Mr Kerry, please. I am begging you. Please take him away."
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