Japan With “Surprise Call” At Japan/China Summit

 –Japan Today–

Japan have sprung something of a diplomatic surprise at this week’s Japan/China summit by abruptly abducting and murdering the Chinese Premier, Mr Lee Ving.

“This is the car boot you should climb into right now Mr Ving, if you wish to see your family alive again.”

When queried about Japan’s ransom demands immediately following the abduction, Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzo Abe (pictured above, pink tie) said “there is no ransom demand. We just hate the chinks. So we killed this one. One less of them, who cares, there’s a billion more of the cross-eyed little fuckwits anyway. Don’t worry, Ving’s family are fine. Ving though, not so good. Bit wet I imagine. Still locked in the boot of the Prius which is now located on the ocean floor of Tokyo Bay. Look, it was just a spur of the moment thing. I’m impulsive like that. Decisive. I make the big calls. And I just felt today was the right time to kill the Chinese Premier. No biggie.”