Local Child Complains Cruise Ship is “Too F**king White”

–RST–

A local child aboard a cruise ship has voiced a complaint that the offending vessel is painted a shade of white too bright.

The offending vessel.

“Mummy, this ship is too white” the child is reported to have claimed near the starboard aft. “The glare is hurting my eyes, mummy. I’m going fucking snowblind over here you fat slag. My eyes, my eyes, my fucking eyyyyes. Mummy, tell the ship captain to please paint this fat snowblinding cunt a darker shade of white overnight please mummy, pleeease.”
“Why don’t you just put on some sunglasses my de
“MY EYES, MY FUCKING EYES, I CAN’T OPEN MY FUCKING EYES MUMMY YOU GAY BLACK VIRGIN SHREW.”
“Ok dear I’ll call room service and ask to speak to the captain.”

The child is believed to be the same minor who earlier in the year issued warrants for the arrests of both of her parents.

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“Mummy, if I open my eyes and those clouds are still there I’m calling the fucking cops. Negligent parenting. Both you gay wog kike cunts can rot in fucken Gitmo for all I bloody care.”

“Mummy, are you there? I just opened my eyes and it’s all black in here. Where the fuck am I you leper-faced shithead? ANSWER ME.”