Vegan Parents Face Prison Time.

 –NZ Herald—

Two local parents are facing prison time after feeding their poor little child way the fuck too many vegetables.

“What’s all this fucken shit? All I see is rabbit food. I’m calling the fucken cops. Both of you 2 gestapo wankers are going to prison. Inhumane parenting.”
–Sarah Peddleman, aged 8.

“Haven’t those two old dickheads even read the popular children’s books of today? continued Peddleman. “‘The Little Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables’? Stone cold classic! ‘An Apple A Day Could Give You Cancer’? Should be taught in the fucken schools!

“I’m alright now. Once the cops took old Hansel & Gretel Shithead away in the paddy wagon I barbequed the family rabbit. Baked his little nuts right off. The groinsack was such a delectable treat!”
“Did you hear the one about the nun in prison, the garter belt, the rabbit and the huge carrot…”
“Oh fuck off!”